Capitalism Jokes

Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters?

Because he hates capitalism.

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What's the loudest economic system?

CAPITALISM

Why do Soviets use lowercase letters?

Because they don't understand CAPitalism

Why are hippies against capitalism?

Because money doesn't grow on trees.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Opportunity.

That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!

Why are teachers always making answer keys?

So they can open doors of opportunity for their students.

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What is your fee?

Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "

Why was the man selling CDs at 12:30 a.m.?

Because his mixtape was to die for...

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Why did the Mexican guy rob a train?

He had a loco motive.

What do vegetable do when they got robbed?

They dont.

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What country always follows Zimbabwe?

Zimbab-Bee!

What's the capital of Zimbabwe?

Hyper-inflated.

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Why do Irish stew recipes only call for 239 beans?

Because one more, and it would be too-farty.

What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr. Day and St. Patricks Day?

Everyone want to be Irish on St. Patricks Day.

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What is the best way to stop a politician?

A really strong gust of wind.

What's the best way to get a hold of Vin Diesel?

IM Groot.

Letter Jokes More Letter Jokes

Which two letters are rotten for your teeth?

D K

What word allows you to take away two letters and get one?

Stone.

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

What country always follows Zimbabwe?

Zimbab-Bee!

What country has the most people?

Brazil... They've got Brazillions