Ireland Jokes

What is the difference between St. Patrick and Christopher Columbus?

One drove all the snakes from Ireland, the other drove away all of the Native Americans.

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What time is it in Ireland when someone farts too much?

Two-forty (use an Irish accent)... It's two-farty

What is the stinkiest number in Ireland?

Farty.

Why wasn't Christ born in Ireland?

Because they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Why did the pirate go to Ireland?

He thought he was going to Arrrland.

What do you call a fast sheep in Ireland?

A virgin.

What do you call a pirate from Ireland??

Arrrish

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

Why are there so many people in Ireland?

Cos' they keep Dublin and Dublin and Dublin...

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

Why Ireland so rich?

Because its capital is always Dublin.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland?

They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

What do you call sunscreen in Ireland?

Pubs

Where did AT&T get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

Why is Dublin the capital of Ireland?

Cause it keeps on Dublin and Dublin.

What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland?

A consonant.

What's the difference between Ireland and America?

When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing.

Why is everyone investing in Ireland?

Because the capital is always Dublin!

Why is it so expensive to live in Ireland?

Cause they keep *Dublin* the taxes.

Why is Ireland the richest country in the world?

Because it's capital is always Dublin.

What is similar between Spain, Ireland, and the United States?

Their economies falter after a popping of a housing bubble.

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Why is the capitol of Ireland growing so fast?

Because the population is always Dublin.

What do you call a set of chairs kept outside in Ireland?

Paddy O' Furniture

Where did AT&ampT get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

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Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

What is the difference between an apple and an orange?

None, the two are not a snake

What do you get when you cross a snake with a plane?

A boeing constrictor

French Jokes More French Jokes

What did one dehydrated French guy say to the other?

What do we do now, Pierre

What do French Business Men use to ice their cakes?

Franchicing

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What's another name for floor pie?

What do you call a brunette and three blondes in a corner?

You don't you see if you've got 3 condoms.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call an Earl Grey that likes role play?

Not-tea

Why does Daniel love white vans?

Because he likes candy... *I'll walk myself out*

Saint Patrick Jokes More Saint Patrick Jokes

What is the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

On Saint Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What do you get when you place a Russian leader on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz.

What did one plane said to the other plane?

Can I crash at your place

At&T Jokes More At&T Jokes

Why doesn't Lilly from AT&T commercials show any cleavage?

Because AT&T has the best coverage

Why did all the prisoners at the AT&T jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What do bad photographs and the Irish famine have in common?

Potato quality

Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

On less person is drunk