Ireland Jokes

What is the difference between St. Patrick and Christopher Columbus?

One drove all the snakes from Ireland, the other drove away all of the Native Americans.

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What time is it in Ireland when someone farts too much?

Two-forty (use an Irish accent)... It's two-farty

What is the stinkiest number in Ireland?

Farty.

Why wasn't Christ born in Ireland?

Because they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Why did the pirate go to Ireland?

He thought he was going to Arrrland.

What do you call a fast sheep in Ireland?

A virgin.

What do you call a pirate from Ireland??

Arrrish

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

Why are there so many people in Ireland?

Cos' they keep Dublin and Dublin and Dublin...

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

Why Ireland so rich?

Because its capital is always Dublin.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland?

They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

What do you call sunscreen in Ireland?

Pubs

Where did AT&T get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

Why is Dublin the capital of Ireland?

Cause it keeps on Dublin and Dublin.

What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland?

A consonant.

What's the difference between Ireland and America?

When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing.

Why is everyone investing in Ireland?

Because the capital is always Dublin!

Why is it so expensive to live in Ireland?

Cause they keep *Dublin* the taxes.

Why is Ireland the richest country in the world?

Because it's capital is always Dublin.

What is similar between Spain, Ireland, and the United States?

Their economies falter after a popping of a housing bubble.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Why is the capitol of Ireland growing so fast?

Because the population is always Dublin.

What do you call a set of chairs kept outside in Ireland?

Paddy O' Furniture

Where did AT&ampT get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

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Leprechaun Jokes More Leprechaun Jokes

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a leprechaun?

The Easter Blarney!

Urine Jokes More Urine Jokes

Why do American beer companies always advise that their beer should be served cold?

So you can tell it apart from urine

What did the Urologist tell his newly accepted resident?

Urine.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What do you call a group of medical professionals who navigate around the Horn of Africa without being accosted by pirates?

Doctors without boarders.

Why does my Pirates of the Caribbean DVD have a piracy warning?

I think that pretty much goes without saying.

Waterboarde Jokes More Waterboarde Jokes

Why do terrorists hate air planes made of water?

Because they hate waterboarding.

What tends to satisfy thirst the most?

Waterboarding.

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why aren't there any 'Knock, Knock' jokes about America?

Cuz freedom rings, baby!

What is the difference between a yogurt and america?

If you leave the yogurt for 100 years alone, it develops a culture.

Iceland Jokes More Iceland Jokes

What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland?

A consonant.

What do you call the kid of an Iceland and Cuban parents?

Ice cubes.

3 Wise Man Jokes More 3 Wise Man Jokes

Why did Jesus not go to Australia?

He couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland?

They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Lad Jokes More Lad Jokes

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.