Ireland Jokes

What is the difference between St. Patrick and Christopher Columbus?

One drove all the snakes from Ireland, the other drove away all of the Native Americans.

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What time is it in Ireland when someone farts too much?

Two-forty (use an Irish accent)... It's two-farty

What is the stinkiest number in Ireland?

Farty.

Why wasn't Christ born in Ireland?

Because they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Why did the pirate go to Ireland?

He thought he was going to Arrrland.

What do you call a fast sheep in Ireland?

A virgin.

What do you call a pirate from Ireland??

Arrrish

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

Why are there so many people in Ireland?

Cos' they keep Dublin and Dublin and Dublin...

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

Why Ireland so rich?

Because its capital is always Dublin.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland?

They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

What do you call sunscreen in Ireland?

Pubs

Where did AT&T get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

Why is Dublin the capital of Ireland?

Cause it keeps on Dublin and Dublin.

What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland?

A consonant.

What's the difference between Ireland and America?

When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing.

Why is everyone investing in Ireland?

Because the capital is always Dublin!

Why is it so expensive to live in Ireland?

Cause they keep *Dublin* the taxes.

Why is Ireland the richest country in the world?

Because it's capital is always Dublin.

What is similar between Spain, Ireland, and the United States?

Their economies falter after a popping of a housing bubble.

What side of the road do they drive on in ireland?

None. They're so drunk and violent no one is allowed to drive.

Why is the capitol of Ireland growing so fast?

Because the population is always Dublin.

How do you unite both the Catholics and Protestants in Ireland?

By sending in millions of Muslims

What do you call a set of chairs kept outside in Ireland?

Paddy O' Furniture

Where did AT&ampT get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup?

Read the label.

What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire

2007 Slogan Jokes More 2007 Slogan Jokes

Where did AT&ampT get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

Where did AT&T get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

Virgin Jokes More Virgin Jokes

How is life as a virgin?

Its hard

What do laws and virgins have in common?

They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What kind of cars do shellfish drive?

Mussel cars.

What do you call an Arab man who drives a bus?

A bus driver.

2007 Jokes More 2007 Jokes

Where did AT&ampT get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

Where did AT&T get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why did 20 blondes stand outside the bar?

Because you need to be 21 to get in.

Why did all the prisoners at the AT&ampT jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

Iceland Jokes More Iceland Jokes

Where do noobs live in Iceland?

Rekt-javk

What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland?

A consonant.

Leprechaun Jokes More Leprechaun Jokes

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

What's the difference between a little guy with a pot o' gold and a big gathering where people's limbs are falling off?

One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con.