Ireland Jokes

What is the stinkiest number in Ireland?

Farty.

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Why did the pirate go to Ireland?

He thought he was going to Arrrland.

What do you call a pirate from Ireland??

Arrrish

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

Why are there so many people in Ireland?

Cos' they keep Dublin and Dublin and Dublin...

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

Why Ireland so rich?

Because its capital is always Dublin.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland?

They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

What do you call sunscreen in Ireland?

Pubs

Where did AT&T get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

Why is Dublin the capital of Ireland?

Cause it keeps on Dublin and Dublin.

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What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland?

A consonant.

Why is everyone investing in Ireland?

Because the capital is always Dublin!

Why is it so expensive to live in Ireland?

Cause they keep *Dublin* the taxes.

Why is Ireland the richest country in the world?

Because it's capital is always Dublin.

What is similar between Spain, Ireland, and the United States?

Their economies falter after a popping of a housing bubble.

Why is the capitol of Ireland growing so fast?

Because the population is always Dublin.

Where did AT&ampT get their 2007 slogan?

Ireland: More bars in more places

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Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What do you get when you put birthday candles on a pizza?

You can't figure it out I mean, it's a pizz'a cake.

How would you describe the average bully?

Mean.

Lad Jokes More Lad Jokes

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

When does Sean Connery enjoy playing his favorite sport?

Ten-ish.

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

Dublin Jokes More Dublin Jokes

What do you call a man who rides his camel backwards?

Lawrence of Dublin.

Why are there so many people in Ireland?

Cos' they keep Dublin and Dublin and Dublin...

Virgin Jokes More Virgin Jokes

Why did Jesus not go to Australia?

He couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

How do you stop being an 18 year old Virgin?

Turn 19

Christ Jokes More Christ Jokes

Why wasn't Christ born in Italy?

They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Where did Christ get his ripped abs?

Cross fit

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog?

Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.

Who's there! Bark! Bark who?

Bark you car on the drive!

St. Patrick Jokes More St. Patrick Jokes

Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?

Regular rocks are too heavy.

What's the difference between MLK day and St Patrick's day?

Nobody minds being Irish for one day!!!!