Computer Programmer Jokes

Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween?

Because Dec 25 = Oct 31

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How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, that's a hardware issue.

What do computer programmers and aged-care nurses have in common?

They both worry about the position of colons.

Why was the computer programmer single?

Because he couldn't commit.

How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Oh, wait. That's a hardware problem.

Why did the computer programmer put up his Christmas lights on Halloween?

He always gets DEC 25 and OCT 31 confused.

How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

Are you kidding That's a hardware problem!

What do you call a computer programmer that likes to kidnap children?

A PDFile.

Why did the computer programmer put his brownies back in the oven?

They were too GUI.

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Nsa Jokes More Nsa Jokes

How do apply for a job at the NSA?

You make a private phone call to anyone else, and submit your application.

What did the NSA agent say to the other NSA agent when he saw the German Chancellor?

I'd tap that.

Age Jokes More Age Jokes

What did the pirate pirate say on his 80th birthday?

I can't believe I'm still illegally downloading movies at this age!

How can you tell a Bernie Sanders supporter from a hillary supporter?

There age

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What does a Spanish speaking ghost say when they like you?

Mi Ghosta!!

What did the farmer say to Pat Sajak?

I'd like to buy an owl

Kidnap Jokes More Kidnap Jokes

What do you call a duck being kidnapped?

An abduction. I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door.

Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.

Byte Jokes More Byte Jokes

How do you email a sandwich?

In bytes.

What did the hungry computer programmer say?

All I want is one byte. Hell, I'll even take a nibble.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's black and doesn't work in an office?

Decaf coffee!

What song did the man who lived next door to a brothel sing on his way to work?

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to work I go!

Position Jokes More Position Jokes

Why do some writers have a hard time graphing equations?

Because they spend too much time with the x-position

What position does your brother play in the school football team?

Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks!

Oct 31 Jokes More Oct 31 Jokes

Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween?

Because Dec 25 = Oct 31

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25