Cough Jokes

What did the Shetland Pony say when asked if his cough had cleared up?

Yes, thanks, but I'm still a little horse.

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Why do some people cough alot?

Because they drink to much coughee.

What is the best remedy for cough?

A laxative.

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?

The first couple of times you cough, the loogeys aren't yours!

What do you call a pony with a cough?

A little hoarse!!!

What did the cat cough up when it was sick?

Meowcus

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

What did the pony say after he coughed?

Excuse me, I'm a little hoarse.

Who was that coughing in the background?

Me: Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss

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Where did the salami go on holiday?

Costa Deli-Sol

Why couldn't the whistle blower make it home for the holidays?

He was snowden

Pony Jokes More Pony Jokes

Why couldn't the pony sing?

He was a little horse.

What did the pony say to the doctor when he had a sore throat?

I'm a little hoarse.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why didn't Jesus ever play in the NHL?

Because every time he tried he got nailed to the boards!

What time of day is the saddest?

The mourning.

Dracula Jokes More Dracula Jokes

Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?

Dracula's dentist.

What do you think of Dracula films?

Fangtastic!

Bad Thing Jokes More Bad Thing Jokes

What's the worst thing about Mexican and Black jokes?

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

What's the worst thing about being a professional alligator wrestler?

You have to start off by being an amateur alligator wrestler.

Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What's the worst part about 30 lawyers in a bus going over a cliff?

The bus could fit 30 more lawyers.

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

Laffy Taffy Wrapper Jokes More Laffy Taffy Wrapper Jokes

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer. (tbh: found on a Laffy taffy wrapper)

Source Jokes More Source Jokes

Why was 11 afraid of 12?

Because 12 13 14!

What do you get when you buy a $5 umbrella?

Wet.