Cough Jokes

What did the Shetland Pony say when asked if his cough had cleared up?

Yes, thanks, but I'm still a little horse.

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Why do some people cough alot?

Because they drink to much coughee.

What is the best remedy for cough?

A laxative.

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?

The first couple of times you cough, the loogeys aren't yours!

What do you call a pony with a cough?

A little hoarse!!!

What did the cat cough up when it was sick?

Meowcus

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

What did the pony say after he coughed?

Excuse me, I'm a little hoarse.

Who was that coughing in the background?

Me: Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss

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Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What is the worst part of a prostate exam?

Feeling the doctor's hands on your shoulders.

What did the boy buy at the grocery store?

Too Bad, I'm not telling you!

Koala Jokes More Koala Jokes

Why didn't the koala get a job?

He didn't have enough koalifications!

What's invisible and smells like cough drops?

Koala farts

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you make a Game of Thrones fan sad?

You ask them to hold the door for you.

What did the Shetland Pony say when asked if his cough had cleared up?

Yes, thanks, but I'm still a little horse.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What does Batman get in his drink?

Just Ice

What does Batman put in his drinks?

Just ice.

Painter Jokes More Painter Jokes

What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are. (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

Which painter always had a very bad cold?

Vincent Van Cough

Undertaker Jokes More Undertaker Jokes

What do you get an undertaker for a wedding gift?

His and Hearse towels

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that.

Laffy Taffy Wrapper Jokes More Laffy Taffy Wrapper Jokes

What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer. (tbh: found on a Laffy taffy wrapper)

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

Clear Jokes More Clear Jokes

What did I say when my Neutrogena products worked?

Well I'm glad I've gotten that cleared up

Who are the fastest readers on earth?

9/11 victims.... They can clear 10 stories in 5 seconds.