Cub Jokes

What Happens when the Cubs win the World Series?

They Leave a Trail of Tears

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What's the best part about sleeping with a Cubs fan?

They're used to disappointment.

What is the difference between a polar bear and the World Series?

One has cubs

How much did the Cubs pay the devil to win the World Series?

2016

What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan?

Not being from Detroit.

What do you call a bad Cubs game?

Unbearable

Why are the bears such a bad football team?

Because when they were little, they were cubs. I'm so sorry

What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?

Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.'

What is a World Series?

I don't expect you to understand son, you are just a Cub

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Why did the banjo player get into heaven?

The devil has standards.

Why does the devil get such a bad rap?

Because like everyone in marketing, he always lets his own stuff slide...

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What do mathematicians use to get fast delivery?

Amazon'

How do industrial robots communicate with humans?

They use a conveyor belt.

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What's the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak?

February 14th.

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?

Terrorists have sympathizers.

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What is the difference between a polar bear and the World Series?

One has cubs

What do cubs fans do after they win the World Series?

They turn off their Xbox.

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What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had?

The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had!

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?

Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Story Jokes More Story Jokes

What type of stories do cocaine addicts write?

Snort stories

What do the wage gap and the story of Hercules have in common?

They're both myths.

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Why did Germany win so many battles in WW I?

They had baron.

What colour T-shirt would win a race?

Red, because it runs the most.

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What do you call a deceptive feline?

A lion. Get it guys lol? Lion Lying I'll pounce myself out now...

Who would you save first?

Wife asks her husband: Honey, If a lion attacks my mother and I, Who would you save first? Husband: Well, the lion!