Drink Jokes

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of "Back to the Future"?

They Hire 'Em A Biff!

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarter back!

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why are there 2 doors on a chicken coupe?

Because if it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan

Why is 2 dimensional soda not popular?

Because it's always flat.

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

Why could the witch never get the enchantments right?

She forgot to use Spell Check.

Why isn't the guy who wrote "Danger Zone" and the Saved by the Bell theme very active on social media?

He forgot his Loggins

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What do you call a burning rocket?

Korean Barbecue.

What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic existentialist?

Is there a dog?

Spirit Jokes More Spirit Jokes

How does a booze thief make you feel better?

He lifts your spirits.

What does a college kid do when confronted by an evil spirit?

He drinks it just like he drinks every other kind of spirit.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

What do aliens use to buy their coffee?

Starbucks

When does a lawyer make coffee?

When he has sufficient grounds

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of pizza would the twin towers order?

Two plains.

What kind of house does cheese like to live in?

A cottage

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why is 9 crying?

Me: Because it's raining and he's getting wet wife: But we're at a water park me *takes a drink from my flask* Yep

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation check to the orphanage.