Flame Jokes

What did the candle say to the flame?

You're getting on my wick.

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What's the difference between a ginger girl and a vampire?

One bursts into flames in the sunlight, and the other is a vampire.

Why is the dating app called Tinder?

When you left-swipe, all of your matches go up in flames.

Why do ducks have flat feet?

So they can stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? So they can stamp out flaming ducks.

What did the hamburger say when it pleaded 'not guilty'?

I've been flamed!

Why do elephants have big flat feet?

To stamp out flaming ducks.

What would you have if your car's motor was in flames?

A fire engine.

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Fire Engine Jokes More Fire Engine Jokes

Why are fire engines red?

You would be too if you were running down the road with your hose hanging out!

What would you have if your car's motor was in flames?

A fire engine.

Flat Foot Jokes More Flat Foot Jokes

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To stomp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out the burning ducks.

Why do ducks have flat feet?

So they can stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? So they can stamp out flaming ducks.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory?

All that was left was de brie.

What happens when you witness a shipwreck?

You let it sink in.

Plead Jokes More Plead Jokes

How do you plead?

Defendant: Not quilty.

Why did the picture plead innocent at the trial?

It was framed.

Candle Jokes More Candle Jokes

What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles?

Electricity.

What did the candle say when it couldn't sleep due to his own candlelight?

There ain't no rest for the wicked

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor?

1st floor: Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat

What's the difference between a successful bank robber and one who ends up in prison?

One's a pro, and one's a con.

Idiot Jokes More Idiot Jokes

How to make an idiot curious?

I'll post the answer tomorrow.

What do a pregnant teenager, frozen beer, and a burned pizza have in common?

Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's the worse thing to do to a blind person?

Leave a plunger in the toilet

What's Michelle's favourite vegetable?

Barackoli (I'm sorry I'll leave now...)