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Flat Jokes

Where does a two dimensional man live?

A flat.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson?

Because he'd already done the sharps and flats.

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Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

Why do ducks have flat feet?

So they can stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? So they can stamp out flaming ducks.

What does a duck like to have for breakfast?

Quacker Oats

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars?

Jack-u-la!

What kind of car does a pirate drive?

A Yarrrrrrrrris.

Tounge Jokes More Tounge Jokes

How did the hipster burn his tounge?

He bit into his flat bread before it was cool!

Why did the hipster burn his tounge?

Because he ate his food before it was cool.

Piano Jokes More Piano Jokes

What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

What do you get if King Kong sits on your piano?

A flat note.

Flat Mate Jokes More Flat Mate Jokes

Why Did The Hedgehog Cross The Road?

Because he wanted to see his flat mate.

What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend?

A flat mate.

Shaft Jokes More Shaft Jokes

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

What's the difference between a coal mining company and catholic priests?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the groom ask his bride to wear white?

Because he wanted his dishwasher to match the fridge and stove

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarter back!

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

What happens if Russians fall from an Afghan boat?

They sue Kabul Yacht.