Goalkeeper Jokes

What Does Potato Do?

Potato dribbles one defender. Potato dribbles another defender. Potato is one on one with the goalkeeper. What does Potato do? Potato Chips

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Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

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Age Jokes More Age Jokes

What is Sean Connery's favorite sport, and around what age did he start playing?

Tennish

What's the difference between a hold-up and a stick-up?

Age

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

Why did the midget get kicked out of the putt putt course?

Because he wanted to play minijerkoff.

Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest?

Because she was a litter bug.

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet?

Reddish.

What are Germans most thankful for on the internet?

Danke Memes

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

What do you call a pot smoker that spends every night dancing and drinking with his friends?

A Rastapartying

Football Team Jokes More Football Team Jokes

Why was Cinderella kicked out of the football team?

She ran away from the ball.

Which football team to you need to connect up your computer?

Leeds.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down?

He fell on his ash.

What happened to the body builder...whose favorite gym closed down?

He was depressed.

Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

What do you call someone who has to shave 30 times a day?

A barber

How do I feel about your goatee?

I shave every part of my legs except the knees, how do you feel about that

Sack Jokes More Sack Jokes

What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common?

Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.

What is not allowed in the ring, but boxers do every night?

Hit the sack.