Goalkeeper Jokes

What Does Potato Do?

Potato dribbles one defender. Potato dribbles another defender. Potato is one on one with the goalkeeper. What does Potato do? Potato Chips

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What happened when the school bully went netsurfing?

The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground.

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

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Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

What are Germans most thankful for on the internet?

Danke Memes

What is the one thing you can't say even on the internet?

Removed

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Whats the difference between the FAA and a jet engine?

The engine stops whining after the plane lands.

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

Football Team Jokes More Football Team Jokes

How do hens encourage their football teams?

They egg them on!

Why was Cinderalla thrown out of the football team?

Because she ran away from the ball.

Wipe Jokes More Wipe Jokes

How does the blind man know when to stop wiping his arse?

I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

Toilet Paper Jokes More Toilet Paper Jokes

Why do you take toilet paper to the twilight zone?

DODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODO

How does one cook toilet paper?

Simple - brown it on both sides then throw it into the pot.

Football Ground Jokes More Football Ground Jokes

What part of a football ground is never the same?

The changing rooms!

What happened when the school bully went netsurfing?

The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground.

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why was Simba unable to save his dad in the Lion King?

He couldnt Mufasa enough.

How do you save a pirate's life?

C P Arrr!