Gold Medal Jokes

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being

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How would America win gold medals in shooting for the Olympics?

They take their prison population and school population to Rio.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the quadriplegic (crippled) Olympics?

Walking.

What's the only thing better than a gold medal at the Paralympics?

Legs

Why does Mexico never get gold medals in Olympics?

Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.

What's better than a gold medal at the Paralympics?

Working legs.

What happens when a blonde wins a gold medal at the Olympics?

She has it bronzed.

Why has the pope never won a gold medal?

Because he always came in a little behind.

What did Ryan Lochte name his Gold medal?

GoldiLochtes

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Rio Jokes More Rio Jokes

How would America win gold medals in shooting for the Olympics?

They take their prison population and school population to Rio.

Who poisoned the waters in the 2016 Olympics?

It was I, **RIO**!!!

Usa Jokes More Usa Jokes

What's the difference between a regular product and a fancy one?

The regular one says "Made in China". The fancy one says "Designed in the USA. Made in China."

Why does Mexico never get gold medals in Olympics?

Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.

Ryan Lochte Jokes More Ryan Lochte Jokes

What did Ryan Lochte name his Gold medal?

GoldiLochtes

What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the engineer put a clock under his desk?

He wanted to work overtime.

Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.

Swimmer Jokes More Swimmer Jokes

Why does Mexico never get gold medals in Olympics?

Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.

Why doesn't Mexico win Olympic Medals?

Because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What's the difference between Shea Stadium and Sloan-Kettering?

At Sloan-Kettering the Mets always win.

What is the Revenant about?

The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City?

To see who shot his "paw."

What do you call a fake psychic who was found out and now shoots up in ditches?

A high medium low

Bronze Jokes More Bronze Jokes

What happens when a blonde wins a gold medal at the Olympics?

She has it bronzed.

Why isnt suntanning an Olympic sport?

Because the best you can get is bronze.