Jazz Musician Jokes

What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician?

A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3

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What did the DJ say to the jazz musician?

Take me to the airport.

What does a rock artist say to a jazz musician?

To the airport please

How do Jazz musicians drink their liquor?

Straight, No Chaser.

What do you call a jazz musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless

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Airport Jokes More Airport Jokes

Why did the elephant turn around in the airport and go home?

He forgot to pack his trunk.

Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport?

Because he was Snowden...

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

Why do 2 bit gamblers never win at blackjack?

Because they can only count to 3.

What has 16 balls and 3 pubic hairs?

A sleepover at Michael Jacksons house

Chord Jokes More Chord Jokes

Why couldn't the chord get into the bar?

She was A minor.

What's the difference between rock and jazz?

Rock is playing three chords for a thousand people. Jazz is playing a thousand chords for three people.

Musician Jokes More Musician Jokes

What do you call it when one musician abuses another?

An act of violins.

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless

Dj Jokes More Dj Jokes

Why did the DJ consider himself to be a part of the LGBTQ community?

Because he was transitioning.

Why did the DJ get fired as a waiter?

Because he'd drop everything

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why wasn't Hamlet sad when his girlfriend drowned?

He was more of a necrOpheliac anyway.

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

How can you tell if a duck has soul?

If it's bill withers!

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

What's the difference between a political speech and a stand-up comic show?

They both tell the audience what they are glad to hear. But at the end, the audience laughs at the comic, and the politician laughs at the audience.

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."