Jehovah Jokes

What are Jehovah witnesses called in Chinese?

Dind Dong

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Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?

Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors

What do jehovah's witnesses believe in?

That I will open the door

What do you call someone who only tells knock-knock jokes?

A Jehovah's Witness.

What song do they play at a Jehovah's witness funeral?

Knock, knock, knockin on Heavens door

How Do You Get Stoned in Ancient Rome?

Start shouting Jehovah.

What do you call a group of religious oranges?

Jehovah's citruses.

What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone knocking at your door for no apparent reason.

What's the worst thing about being a Jehovah's witness?

Nobody asks, 'who's there ' when you try and tell a knock knock joke.

Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments at once.

Why does Jehovah need so many witnesses?

Sounds like a pretty shady dude to me.

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What do you call a Chinese Jehovah's witness?

Ding Dong

What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

Why don't Italians like Jehovah's Wittness?

They don't like any witnesses.

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Why did the suicidal man cross the road?

Because he wanted to play chicken.

Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting NAILED TO THE BOARDS!...

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What sound does a pool make when someone you don't like jumps in?

DOOOOUUUUCCCCHHHEEEEEE!

What does a Spanish speaking ghost say when they like you?

Mi Ghosta!!

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What did you just do?

CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason* ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she's after both of us*

What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone knocking at your door for no apparent reason.

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Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a race?

A. Because all his friends shout "GO-RILLA!"

What does a Japanese chef shout in bed?

Ooo mami! (Umami)

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How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell her a joke on Wednesday!

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

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When I get a prescription for drugs, I don't ask, Will it work?

Are there any side effects ' No, it's Can I drink with these '

What do you call a guy who works out regularly?

Jim.

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Why did everyone bring a quiche to Sean Connery's party?

It was leave your keys at the door.

How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?

Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door.

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What do you call a sketchy place in Italy?

The "spaghetto"

What is the size of women in Italy?

Itali-cized.