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Librarian Jokes

What were the political views of the librarian?

She wanted open borders.

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Why are librarians so shy?

Their occupation makes them very shelf conscious.

How do librarians file melted marshmallows?

According to the Gooey Decimal System.

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

Why do librarians like the wind?

It says, "Shhh!" all day!

Why do you want to be a librarian?

Me: "I like telling people to be quiet."

What did the book say to the librarian?

Can I take you out

What did the librarian say to the travel agent?

Find what you're booking for

Why did the librarian hush the mime?

Because actions speak louder than words.

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know but I can look it up for you.

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Wikipedia Jokes More Wikipedia Jokes

What's the word for interested in something, but not enough to look it up on Wikipedia?

That.

What do you mean I can't change the past?

Logs on to Wikipedia*

Detention Jokes More Detention Jokes

Why did the robot get detention?

Because he was accused of Boolean.

What is "attempted theft" exactly?

I mean it's not like you see school librarians seeing a student use Wikipedia on one of the computers and puts them in detention for "attempted plagiarism"

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why couldn't Mozart find his mentor?

Because he was Haydn

Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?

When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position.

File Jokes More File Jokes

What do you call someone whose filed bankruptcy 4 times and divorced twice?

A GOP Presidential candidate.

How do librarians file melted marshmallows?

According to the Gooey Decimal System.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What are 2 girl chickens that fall in love?

A. Lesbi-hens

How did the blonde die raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What do you do when you want to golf in a thunderstorm?

Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron.

What do you say if you want someone to hold the lift?

Ans: Hodor

Melt Jokes More Melt Jokes

What did the black kid with diarrhea say to his mom?

Help! I'm melting!

Why don't you wear snow boots?

Because they'll melt.

Wind Jokes More Wind Jokes

What do you think of this, you spin really fast and I'll fly a kite from the wind you make?

I'm not a big fan.

What's the difference between the wind and a blonde?

Some days the wind doesn't blow.