Literally Jokes

Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything

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Why are high school girls only 13, 15, or 17?

Because OMG, they like LITERALLY can't even.

What did the valley girl say when her pen ran out of ink?

I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW

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Land Jokes More Land Jokes

Why is the sea salty?

Because the land does not wave back.

What did the pigeon say after its friend landed a sick flip?

Coo.

Gps Jokes More Gps Jokes

Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?

Because all the roads lead to Rome.

What do you call your GPS if it has the voice of Terry Crews?

Crews Control.

Pint Jokes More Pint Jokes

What did the pints say upon landing on Planet Metric?

Take us to your liter.

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What kind of bees hum and drop things?

A fumble bee!

What's that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Oh yeah. Imagination.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why don't ghosts like rainy days?

Because it dampens their souls!!!!

How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job?

Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one, but it'll take at least 6 episodes!

How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?

She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

Chicken Egg Jokes More Chicken Egg Jokes

What do you call an egg that's scared?

A chicken egg.

How many chicken eggs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Literally dozens.