Mercede Jokes

What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana?

The Mercedes can easily reach 40.

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Whats the difference between a guy who has a new Mercedes and a guy who has an old Mercedes?

The guy who has a new Mercedes is rich. The guy who has an old Mercedes has been rich for a longer time.

Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

How can you tell a rich Swiss from a poor Swiss?

The poor swiss washes his Mercedes by himself

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a mercedes?

I don't have a mercedes in my garage!

What is the difference between a Mercedes and a Lexus?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Lexus...

What's the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What's the common thing between Mercedes and iphone 6?

Mercedes Benz...

What did Mike Meyers say to Eddie Murphy after Eddie bought him a brand new Mercedes?

DANKE!

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a bunch of dead babies?

I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone?

Because eventually, its cover would be blown.

Why did the iPhone 7 cross the road?

To buy another pair of AirPods.

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

Why did Woodrow Wilson take a long time to turn around?

Because he could only make 14 point turns.

What's the difference between an American and a Briton?

Britons think 200 miles is a long distance, and American's think 200 years is a long time.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Who wants ice cream?

Uta Hagen daz.

What's the difference... between a (nationality, ethnicity, etc you want to make fun of) man and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

Why does OP never deliver?

Removed

How do you make a drummers car more aerodynamic?

You remove the pizza delivery sign! Hahahahaaa..ha

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes?

Like a Bosch!

What does John Cena wash his hair with?

Champ who

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What does Supertramp do after buying rice?

They take the long-grain home.

How much does it cost to buy multiple prosthetic limbs?

An arm and a leg.

Crash Jokes More Crash Jokes

What did the tired pilot say to his crew?

I think I'm gonna crash

What did the Japanese soda say to Papa John after he crashed his car?

I'm really sodie pop.

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

What's 18 inches long, and makes a woman scream the entire night?

Her dead baby.

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari?

I dont have a ferrari in my garage.