Mercede Jokes

What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana?

The Mercedes can easily reach 40.

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Whats the difference between a guy who has a new Mercedes and a guy who has an old Mercedes?

The guy who has a new Mercedes is rich. The guy who has an old Mercedes has been rich for a longer time.

Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

What is the difference between a Mercedes and a Lexus?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Lexus...

What's the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What's the common thing between Mercedes and iphone 6?

Mercedes Benz...

What did Mike Meyers say to Eddie Murphy after Eddie bought him a brand new Mercedes?

DANKE!

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Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog

What kind of a fish does your Parrot sit on?

A Perch!

Princess Diana Jokes More Princess Diana Jokes

What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?

Their last big hits were The Wall.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?

Tiger Woods had a better driver!

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and Ferrari?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

What do you call a dead baby with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

Why does OP never deliver?

Removed

How do you disappoint a pack of redditors?

Removed

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What happens when you text while driving?

I don't know, I've never tri

Why is a reflection always twice as good as the real thing?

I actually don't know where to post this idea, true jokes maybe?... There has to be a food for thought sub. This is your OP, I promise to deliver!

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

How many Pokmon does it take to change a light bulb?

Not sure, gotta catch them all first!

How do you catch an orange elephant?

I don't know. I've never seen an orange elephant.

Prick Jokes More Prick Jokes

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Hummer?

The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

I Phone Jokes More I Phone Jokes

How do you know if your friend has an iPhone?

They tell you.

What's your cell phone?

IPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that.