Mercede Jokes

What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana?

The Mercedes can easily reach 40.

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Whats the difference between a guy who has a new Mercedes and a guy who has an old Mercedes?

The guy who has a new Mercedes is rich. The guy who has an old Mercedes has been rich for a longer time.

Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

What's the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo

What's the common thing between Mercedes and iphone 6?

Mercedes Benz...

What did Mike Meyers say to Eddie Murphy after Eddie bought him a brand new Mercedes?

DANKE!

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Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

What do you call a dead baby with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and Ferrari?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if you're in Detroit or across the river in Windsor Ontario Canada?

Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada

How do you make a Gorilla laugh?

Tell it an elephant joke!

Garage Jokes More Garage Jokes

What's the difference between a meth lab and a Ferrari?

There isn't a Ferrari in my garage

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and Ferrari?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

Swiss Jokes More Swiss Jokes

What state makes exclusively Swiss cheese?

Swisconsin.

How many Swiss does it take to change a light bulb?

None. We pay a German to do it.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

Because he was sitting on the deck!

What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Why don't elephants like penguins?

Because they can't get the wrapper off.

What is the biggest ant in the world?

An elephant!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a radish and a beet?

I've never radished off to OP's mom.

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because every time she reaches 69 she gets a frog in her throat.

Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording?

Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.