Quack Head Jokes

What did the duck do after he lost his wife, his job, and his house?

He became a quack head

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What do you call a duck that's a drug addict?

A quack-head.

Why did the duck go into Rehab?

Because he was a quack head

What do you call a duck that does drugs?

A quack head!

What do you call a duck addicted to crack?

A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car His windshield was quacked.

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Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

When I get a prescription for drugs, I don't ask, Will it work?

Are there any side effects ' No, it's Can I drink with these '

Why bother?

They're only going to buy drugs or alcohol with it!"... oh, like I wasn't!

House Jokes More House Jokes

Who was the best actor in the Bible?

Samson he brought the house down!

What do you call a horse that has been kicked out of his house?

Unstable

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What should you do if you see an epileptic having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry, and soap

Why should you not throw stones at a knight?

Because heavy metal is harder than rock.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

How do you fit five elephants into a car?

Two in the front two in the back and the other in the glove compartment!

What do locking the keys in your car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?

Both can be solved with a coat hanger

Windshield Jokes More Windshield Jokes

What's the last thing to go through a fly's mind when it hits a windshield?

It's rear end!

What's the worst part of a Ukrainian gas station?

When you see the tongue drag across your windshield.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

Why did the wizards wife have hickeys on her neck?

Because he was a neck-romancer....

Rehab Jokes More Rehab Jokes

What do you call a short psychic who's escaped from rehab?

A small medium at large.

Why did the ghost go into rehab?

He had a problem with boos.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister-Matic

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome: Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.