Retirement Jokes

What do mathematicians call retirement?

Aftermath

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

How do dogs save for retirement?

With a Ruff IRA.

How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement?

Collecting stocks and bonds.

What do you call a dog that wisely saves money for retirement?

A 401(K-9).

How do Jedi plan for retirement?

With a Hoth IRA.

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Bob Jokes More Bob Jokes

Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing?

Because they're crab apples!

What does he have now?

Diabetes. Bob has diabetes.

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

What does Batman use to wash his hair?

Conditioner Gordon.

What do you get when water washes away dirt?

A road

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Who did the crocodiles call when they found one of their own dead?

The investiGATOR

What kind of root is only easy to find on paper?

A square one.*

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

Why does ISIS drink instant coffee?

Because they hate French press!

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Why did the pig quit running the the marathon?

He had a problem with his hamstring.

Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

Why did nVidia build the first self-driving car?

Because their drivers keep crashing.

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

Thanksgive Jokes More Thanksgive Jokes

How was your Thanksgiving?

Gt&gt Very stuffing.

What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?

I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

Silk Jokes More Silk Jokes

Whatever happened to silk underwear?

Fell through the cracks.