Retirement Jokes

What do mathematicians call retirement?

Aftermath

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How do dogs save for retirement?

With a Ruff IRA.

How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement?

Collecting stocks and bonds.

What do you call a dog that wisely saves money for retirement?

A 401(K-9).

How do Jedi plan for retirement?

With a Hoth IRA.

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Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

What do you call a retired professional swimmer?

Washed up.

Why should you wash your hair with counterfeit feces?

Because it's sham poo.

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

What happens when you plant a sesame seed?

Does a sesame grow What is a sesame Where my botanists at Where the hell am I

Why do they put chicken wire around these plants?

Other guy:" To protect the chicken plants"

Aftermath Jokes More Aftermath Jokes

What does a mathematician deal with when finished their work?

The aftermath

What do mathematicians call retirement?

Aftermath

Accountant Jokes More Accountant Jokes

What do accountants use for birth control?

Their personality.

How can you tell when an accountant is extroverted?

He looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why are you so happy?

Girl2: I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said "Parking Fine"

What did Nirvana say when they drove past a burning school bus?

Smells Like Teen Spirits

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did Pac-Man say when he almost got run over?

I'm Waka-Waka-Waka-Walking here!

Why was the neighbor's cat afraid of me?

Because I ran over it with my car.

Pyramid Scheme Jokes More Pyramid Scheme Jokes

What did the sphinx say?

What did the sphinx say when he found out the pharaoh caught him up in a pyramid scheme Egypt me!

How did the Egyptian go broke?

He got caught up in a pyramid scheme.

Early Retirement Jokes More Early Retirement Jokes

What's the best benefit of working for ISIS?

Early retirement

Why did the janitor take early retirement?

Because he realized that grime doesn't pay.