Shoe Jokes

What's a kidnapper's favorite kind of shoes?

White Vans

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Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes?

He likes to go... bearfoot!

What kind of shoes does a thief wear?

Sneakers

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

Dad, can you put my shoes on?

I don't think they'll fit me.

Is there a hole in your shoe?

No… Then how’d you get your foot in it?

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Prop Jokes More Prop Jokes

Why couldn't the set designers plane take off?

Because it was a prop.

What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland?

Wooden shoe like me to tell you. Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one

T Jokes More T Jokes

What happened to the T?

America: "We threw it in the Harbor!"

What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

8 Year Old Daughter Jokes More 8 Year Old Daughter Jokes

What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland?

Wooden shoe like me to tell you. Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one

What you call toes that taste like mint?

Tic-tac-toe! My 8 year old daughter made this one up.

Lift Jokes More Lift Jokes

How does a booze thief make you feel better?

He lifts your spirits.

Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces?

Because it doesn't even lift.

Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

What do you call two banana peels?

A pair of slippers!

What's got a pair of balls and 100 teeth?

A crocodile Q: what's got a 100 balls and a pair of teeth? A: A singing choir of army veterans

Burp Jokes More Burp Jokes

Why fart and waste it?

When you can burp and taste it.

What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?

Sorry it was a freak hic!

Town Jokes More Town Jokes

Where'd you get that black eye?

Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too...

When will there be a woman in the White House?

When Hillary leaves town.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What brand of underwear do zombies wear?

Haaaaaannnnnneeeeeessssss

How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear?

Color coded: "Yellow in front, brown in the back"