Advice Jokes

What was the desert's piece of advice?

Gobi yourself

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What advice would you give to a fish?

Stay in school and keep up with current affairs.

Why should you never trust advice from a group of gryphons?

Half of them are lyin'.

What advice did the frog give to the condom manufacturer?

Rib it.

What's the best part about taking advice from r/relationships?

You'll never have to worry about being in a long-term relationship.

Why do single women take advice from other single women?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions

What advice to cows give?

Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!

What advice does Jay Leno receive when sad?

Chin up pal.

Who would you ask for advice about a lion?

A lion or a gerbil The lion, because by virtue of being a lion, a lion is an expert on lions.

Never take advice from electrons.

They are always negative.

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Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you call a half-white and half-Hispanic baby?

A baby.

What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

Worm Jokes More Worm Jokes

Why didn't Noah go fishing?

He only had two worms!

What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant?

Very big worm holes in your garden!

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?

She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

What sounds like a frog but keeps me up all night?

Reddit

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of paralyzed hippies?

Organic Vegetables.

What is the difference between a bachelorette party and Cirque du Soleil?

One is a group of cunning stunts.

Stevie Wonder Jokes More Stevie Wonder Jokes

What is brown and screams?

Stevie Wonder when he answers the iron.

What's red and black and screaming all over?

Stevie Wonder when he answers the iron.

Good Advice Jokes More Good Advice Jokes

What is the best advice to give a worm?

Sleep late.

Whatcha doin?

Papa would say, "I'M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS." Best advice ever.

Mario Jokes More Mario Jokes

What's Mario's favorite pants?

Denim Denim Denim

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Why did the strawberry go out with the pineapple?

Because he couldn't get a date!

Why should you never date someone with a lazy-eye...?

Because you never know if they're seeing someone on the side.