Advice Jokes

What was the desert's piece of advice?

Gobi yourself

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What advice would you give to a fish?

Stay in school and keep up with current affairs.

Why should you never trust advice from a group of gryphons?

Half of them are lyin'.

What's the best part about taking advice from r/relationships?

You'll never have to worry about being in a long-term relationship.

What advice to cows give?

Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!

What advice does Jay Leno receive when sad?

Chin up pal.

Who would you ask for advice about a lion?

A lion or a gerbil The lion, because by virtue of being a lion, a lion is an expert on lions.

Never take advice from electrons.

They are always negative.

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What's the fastest thing on land?

Stevie Wonder's speedboat.

What's black and screaming?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fish

What did the fish have to pay to get past the coral reef?

Atoll.

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What did one firefly say to the other?

Got to glow now!

What do Muslim gamers say at the start of Ramadan?

Gotta go fast!

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What kind of shoes do Frogs wear?

Open Toad sandals...

What did the frog with internet addiction say?

Reddit

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What is the best advice to give a worm?

Sleep late.

Whatcha doin?

Papa would say, "I'M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS." Best advice ever.

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why can't you ever trust a cat?

Because they are always lion

Why are atoms untrustworthy?

They make up everything. Credit to from an askreddit thread about what not to trust.

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Why doesn't the Kentucky Fried Chicken use toilet paper?

It's finger licking good.

What's the best part about dating 26 year olds?

There's twenty of them.

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What's the difference between a Canadian and an Italian?

Where the "eh" is in the sentence. Canadian: "How you doin, eh " Italian: "Eh! How you doin "

Whatcha doin?

Papa would say, "I'M MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS." Best advice ever.