Advice Jokes

What was the desert's piece of advice?

Gobi yourself

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What advice would you give to a fish?

Stay in school and keep up with current affairs.

Why should you never trust advice from a group of gryphons?

Half of them are lyin'.

What advice to cows give?

Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!

Never take advice from electrons.

They are always negative.

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Damn Business Jokes More Damn Business Jokes

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What does a frog say when it washes car windows?

Rub it rub it rub it.

What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete?

Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What do you call a fish that performs brain surgeries?

A neurosturgeon

Why are fish no good at tennis?

They don't like to get too close to the net!

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How does a yoga instructor turn down an invite?

Namaste home tonight.

Why did I throw my phone out of my window?

Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane...

Get Jokes More Get Jokes

Why is the new Brexit diet so popular?

All you gotta be is a little more than halfway into it and the pounds will start falling.

What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton?

You gotta be chitin me!

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

What do you call a wizard that puts people to sleep?

Dumblebore

Stevie Wonder Jokes More Stevie Wonder Jokes

What does Stevie Wonder call his money?

Wonderbread. Anyone want to be my friend

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?

Because he's married.

Doin Jokes More Doin Jokes

What's the difference between a Canadian and an Italian?

Where the "eh" is in the sentence. Canadian: "How you doin, eh " Italian: "Eh! How you doin "