Advice Jokes

What was the desert's piece of advice?

Gobi yourself

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What advice would you give to a fish?

Stay in school and keep up with current affairs.

Why should you never trust advice from a group of gryphons?

Half of them are lyin'.

What advice did the frog give to the condom manufacturer?

Rib it.

What's the best part about taking advice from r/relationships?

You'll never have to worry about being in a long-term relationship.

What advice to cows give?

Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!

What advice does Jay Leno receive when sad?

Chin up pal.

Who would you ask for advice about a lion?

A lion or a gerbil The lion, because by virtue of being a lion, a lion is an expert on lions.

Never take advice from electrons.

They are always negative.

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Actor Jokes More Actor Jokes

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

10. 1 to change it and 9 to say they could have done it better.

What's your dad do?

Kid: My dad He's an actor Me: Why Couldn't you get a real dad

Rib Jokes More Rib Jokes

Why do they make condoms with ribs?

So you can get traction in the mud.

What do you call a brother and sister rack of ribs??

Riblings

Long Term Relationship Jokes More Long Term Relationship Jokes

Why did Chris Brown stop having long-term relationships?

He wanted 2 hit singles

Why can't astronauts stay in a long term relationship?

They need space.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What did pirate say when he turned 80?

AYE MATEY

What was the most pivotal point in Jesus' ministry?

When he turned the tables on the Temple vendors!

Single People Jokes More Single People Jokes

Why do single people take dating advice from other single people?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

Musician Jokes More Musician Jokes

What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

Why can you trust a musician?

Because he always gives sound advice. Ba dum tsss.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What has two legs and red all over?

Half a puppy... I'm sorry

What's it called when the bottom half of a fraction has loads of cake in it?

A denom-nom-nominator!

Stevie Wonder Jokes More Stevie Wonder Jokes

What's the definition of endless love?

Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.

What is brown and screams?

Stevie Wonder when he answers the iron.