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Cab Driver Jokes

Why was the cab driver contemplating his life?

Because he had nothing to chauffeur.

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What do you call a cab driver who lost his brakes?

A screwdriver

Why did the cab driver did not get time for his family?

Because he was Uber busy.

What did the cab driver say when the black man got into his cab?

Where to sir?

What's the difference between cab drivers and F1 drivers?

F1 driver doesn't think he's a cab driver

Whats a cab drivers favorite song?

Livin' on a fare!

Why did the cab driver get a divorce?

Because he had a fare.

What does a cab driver have in common with a pool cue ball?

The harder you hit them, the more English you get out.

What do a cab driver and a cue ball have in common?

The harder you hit them...the more English you get out.

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What is the difference between a crackhead and a walrus?

One tooth

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Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

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Who is the best Podracer in Star Wars?

Michael Chewbacca EDIT: Some people don't get the joke..... Michael schumacher is a F1 race car driving legend.

What's the difference between cab drivers and F1 drivers?

F1 driver doesn't think he's a cab driver

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why couldn't the physicist get his paper published?

It was a work of friction.

How do you fit 50 elephants into a subway station?

You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four

When Chris brought over his musl*m girlfriend to meet the family, what did they say?

Nice scarf! Must be cold where you came from! Do you guys want coffee?

Screwdriver Jokes More Screwdriver Jokes

What driver doesn't have a license?

A screwdriver

What does Frankenstein's monster call a screwdriver?

Daddy.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time is it when yo mama sits on a chair?

Time to buy a new chair.

When is the only time a Muslim bets?

When there is a prophet involved.

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What do you call a hard working man from whose chauffeur is from Seoul?

Korea driven.

What do you call a man who opens the car door for you?

A chauffeur.

Nietzsche Jokes More Nietzsche Jokes

What do you call the corner of the market that specializes in philosophy?

A Nietzsche market!

What did Nietzsche tell his editor when he finished writing Thus Spoke Zarathustra?

It's over, man.