Castle Jokes

What's grey and can't swim?

A castle

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Why are all castles disabled?

They all have tur-rets

How long does it take to build a castle?

A Fortnight

Why couldn't Mario ever watch Netflix with Peach?

Because the princess was always on another Castle.

What do I have in common with Franz Kafka?

Neither of us have finished The Castle.

How do whores in Westeros get into the castle?

Hodor.

What's the similarity between designer jeans and cheaply made castles?

No ballroom

What is the rain's favorite medieval reenactment?

Storming a castle.

What do you call a chess blunder where you lose your castle?

A Rook-ey mistake.

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How's Terry Fox like Jack Layton?

They both tried to run a country and died before finishing.

When he finishes drinking, he pulls out his wallet and say to the Bartender, "How much?

The Bartender says, "For you No charge."

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Why did you burn that building down?

Me: Because they keep sending emails after unsubscribing. Cop: You're free to go.

Why is the Statue of Liberty a woman?

Because the head had to be empty in order to build a restaurant.

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What's the name of Michael J Fox's dry-cleaner?

Park and Sons. /Park en sons/ http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t57/Thomzilla/Fazed/michaeljfoxshakennotstirred.gif

How can if you have a stupid dog?

It chases parked cars!

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What is a whales favorite pasttime?

Netflix and krill.

What does a drug addict like to do in their free time?

Netflix and pills

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What happens when Mario parks his car outside the wrong castle?

He gets Toad

What fabric is Mario's overalls?

Denim denim denim.

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What's the similarity between designer jeans and cheaply made castles?

No ballroom

How are a pair of skinny jeans like a cheap motel?

No ballroom

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How do you call a whores pubic hair?

Public hair Ill show myself out..

Whores does it take to change a light bulb?

If this gets 500 upvotes i'll tell you!

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What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.