Deserve Jokes

What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe?

A refund. credit to (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)

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Why'd the chicken cross The Road?

Because he wasn't paid the money he deserved.

Why is moving to Canada always plan B?

Canada deserves to be plan eh.

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

How does Walter Palmer like his eggs?

Poached. Thank you, I'm here all week. EDIT: this got no upvotes and I don't think it deserved any

Who Deserves Love"?

ME crying:

What for?

Because he deserved it, that's what for!

What's the best way to make an egg roll?

You push it! I deserve salmonella for even posting this...

Why are Subway cooks called "Sandwich Artists"?

Even art majors deserve recognition

Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down?

One good turn deserves another.

How old do I look?

9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any

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Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to send a letter to Prince Charles?

Heir mail

What's the best way to get a hold of Vin Diesel?

IM Groot.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays.

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a two week drunk?

I freed what

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How are women and computers the same?

Neither take your 3.5 inch floppy anymore.. unless you pay extra.

How Does a Woman Make a Man a Millionaire?

When he's a billionaire.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What's green and hurts when it hits you in the eye?

A snooker table

What did Jesus say when he was nailed upon the cross?

Me! That hurts!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between politics and professional wrestling?

In professional wrestling they know what they are doing.

Why should you try to date girls you meet at the gym?

Because you already know she'll work out.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why are those two men standing in the spine of that book?

It must need Osteo-per-o-sis" Love it.

What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly?

A herrocopter

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver?

A schoolteacher says "Spit out that toffee" and a train says "Choo choo."

What's the difference between a house cleaner and a thief?

The way they enter your house.

Bmw Jokes More Bmw Jokes

Why do men like BMWs?

Because they can spell it.

What do you call a blonde in a BMW?

Optional.