Gabe Newell Jokes

Why should we make Gabe Newell president?

There won't be any World War 3. #gaben2k16

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What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen

Who should we vote for the next president?

Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3.

Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball?

Because he can't make 3's

What's Gabe Newell's favourite game?

Angry Nerds

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How much do Americans like racist jokes?

Enough to make one President.

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.

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What do they call traffic laws in 3rd world countries?

Guidelines

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

The pencil is better. It has a point.

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Who should we vote for the next president?

Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3.

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen

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What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4?

3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What is the difference between a corrupt cop and a disposable camera?

A disposable camera doesn't have to reload 3 times to take 30 shots.

How many things do you need to change a lightbulb?

3, a person, a ladder, and another lightbulb

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Why do women live on average two years longer?

Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.

How do '90s kids count to 6?

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

GLOVES! Just kidding, he hasn't opened the box yet.

What has 5 legs and a big grin?

Pit-bull in kids sandpit

3rd Base Jokes More 3rd Base Jokes

Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!