Gabe Newell Jokes

What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

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Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen

Who should we vote for the next president?

Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3.

Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball?

Because he can't make 3's

What's Gabe Newell's favourite game?

Angry Nerds

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What do you call a waffle that's been buried in sand?

Sandiego

What is it called when a woman can't imagine having kids?

Inconceivable.

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Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

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How did the U. S. elect an Orange as president?

Gerrymandarin.

What do you call a dog who got re-elected for mayor?

A dog with pawlitical experience.

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What is the name of a bag pipe band that likes to play while jumping on squares?

Hopscotts.

Why can't zombies play the blues?

Just feels like they don't put their soul in to it.

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Why are calculators grey and boring?

Cause it's what's on the inside that counts! EDIT: it was a joke guys:(

How many dogs does it take to count 14 plates?

14, maybe 15, but only if the plates... 'run around a lot!'

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Who was the 45th Vice President of the United States?

Warning: Gore

Why is the United States always in political disarray?

It's a nation without a litre.

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What did the poles do during world war two?

They held the telephone wires off the ground.

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen

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What kind of light makes the best US president?

A blinkin' light

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?

Because then World War 3 would never happen