Green Jokes

Why did the old man get kicked off the nudist colony's golf course?

He kept leaving ball marks on the greens.

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What do you call a color-blind pop artist?

See No Green

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What is Green and Oblong?

A well disguised orange!

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's hotter, green or red peppers?

Green "Nope. Green."

What is red... And smells like green paint?

Red paint! Whats green, and smells like red paint Green paint :) Can't believe how many time I switch to the second, and they don't get it!

Why should a good driver always carry weed in his car?

So he always hits the green when he's driving.

What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

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Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

What happened after the word bank was robbed?

There was a run on sentences.

Why was the double leg amputee sentenced to life?

He had no leg to stand on.

Chest Jokes More Chest Jokes

What's the difference between a chick pea and a lentil?

I've never had a lentil on my chest.

What is the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil?

I've never had a Lentil on my chest.

Pool Table Jokes More Pool Table Jokes

How do u get a pool table to laugh?

Tickle its balls.

How do you make a pool table laugh?

Jiggle its balls

President Jokes More President Jokes

Where does the President keep his armies?

In his Baracks

Why couldn't Arnold Schwarzenegger run for president?

Because he doesn't do cardio.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

How does Yo-Yo Ma answer the phone?

Cello?

What does the caller ID say?

Mom: It's a private caller. Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.

Riddle Jokes More Riddle Jokes

What do you call a penguin with a machine gun?

Sir. Groan worthy penguin jokes(https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)

What did the quadruple amputee say when he couldn't solve the riddle?

I'm stumped.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did the blonde go to church?

B/c she heard there was a guy hung like this(https://riverchurchtelford.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/jesus.jpg)

Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller fall off a cliff?

She had mittens on.

Red Paint Jokes More Red Paint Jokes

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a shipcarrying blue paint?

Both crews were marooned.

What does blue paint taste like?

Exactly like red paint!