Green Jokes

What do you call a color-blind pop artist?

See No Green

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What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What is Green and Oblong?

A well disguised orange!

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's hotter, green or red peppers?

Green "Nope. Green."

What is red... And smells like green paint?

Red paint! Whats green, and smells like red paint Green paint :) Can't believe how many time I switch to the second, and they don't get it!

Why should a good driver always carry weed in his car?

So he always hits the green when he's driving.

What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

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Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What is the 100% guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?

Now I would date him for the prescriptions.

White House Jokes More White House Jokes

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

Riddle Jokes More Riddle Jokes

What do you call a penguin with a machine gun?

Sir. Groan worthy penguin jokes(https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?

An Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke

Blue House Jokes More Blue House Jokes

Who lives there?

The yellow man lives in the yellow house. The purple man lives in the purple house. The red man in the red house. And the blue man in the blue house. So who lives in the White House? The black man. It's better in person, I'm so sorry.

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What happens when Frogs die playing Call of Duty?

They respawn.

What did the frog with internet addiction say?

Reddit

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Did you hear about the hungry clock?

It went back four seconds.

What's three times worse than OCD?

OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait...

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Who pays for the drinks?

The German!

What celebrity never payed with a cheque or credit?

Johnny Cash.

Green Day Jokes More Green Day Jokes

What does Green Day say before bed?

Green night

What's Cersei's favourite band?

Green Day.