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Handcuff Jokes

Why did the Italian wear handcuffs to bed?

So he wouldn't talk in his sleep

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Why are you putting handcuffs on that building?

Officer: I'm making a house arrest

What do you call a handcuffed man?

A. Trustworthy.

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What do you call a pig sitting on a hog?

Usually they prefer to be called "officer"

Why could the drunk man only move left?

The officer hadn't read him his rights.

Install Jokes More Install Jokes

Why does the French Army install Rear-view mirrors in their Tanks?

So that they can see the battle.

Why did the tree install solar panels?

It wanted to be a power plant.

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What happened when the Orange slept with the skanky Lemon?

He got Lemonaids.

What does a muslim man call a woman he wants to sleep with, but can't due to religious reasons?

Harambae

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Why do heroine addicts rarely have meetings late in the afternoon?

Because it's dangerous to shoot for 3 or even 4.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What dog can jump higher than a building?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

When was Rome built?

Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What brand toothbrush do Mexicans use?

Oral-

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the building?

Te-quil-a

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What do you call it when someone makes a slam-dunk wearing shiny handcuffs?

Boom-shackle-lacquer!

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

Who is it?

Police: Police. Me:What do u want Police: To talk. Me: How many r u Police: 2 Me: Talk to each other.