Handcuff Jokes

Why did the Italian wear handcuffs to bed?

So he wouldn't talk in his sleep

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Why are you putting handcuffs on that building?

Officer: I'm making a house arrest

What do you call a handcuffed man?

A. Trustworthy.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end?

It was unmiscible.

Why did the man put a clock under his desk?

He wanted to work overtime.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed?

Sleep in the wardrobe!

Who slept with my wife?

And in the background someone replied "You ain't got enough bullets."

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

How much for a beer?

The bartender replies: "For you No charge."

What do the Irish say when they cheers their beer?

Good Mornin'!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What kind of pants does Super Mario wear?

Denim denim denim

Why weren't there any famous gun slingers in the Canadian West?

Because they all wore mittens.

Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

What tense do Italians speak in?

Pasta continuous.

Why does the disinterested Italian man have perfect skin?

Because he's aloof-a

Install Jokes More Install Jokes

What's the first thing you install on a new computer?

The operating system

How do you install "blackout curtains"?

They just get hammered.

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What are the 7 Irish drinking holidays?

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

What do you call Irish sunscreen?

A pub.

Officer Jokes More Officer Jokes

What do you call a pig sitting on a hog?

Usually they prefer to be called "officer"

What's this ticket, officer?

Loitering "I didn't drop trash" - No. Loitering. "You talk funny" - It's not- "I'm putting this on Twoiter"