Manual Jokes

Why do Americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic

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Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission?

He was always Stalin in his manual!

Why do girls prefer to drive auto cars, instead of manual?

Because they want the D.

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

What kind of car did Jesus drive?

A manual.

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Witch Jokes More Witch Jokes

What did the witch say when her position was terminated?

You can't fire me! I snappopcrackleaaaaaargh!!!!

What do you call a witch that stays out all night?

A fresh air freak.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call an alpacca that screams when it sees fire?

A smoke aLaama.

Why did the worker at the M&M factory get fired?

He threw out the W's

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you get when you cross a bridge with a car?

You get to the other side.

Why do women like men who can work on cars?

They know how to work under the hood!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of undergarments do mermaids wear?

An algebra

What's the one kind of marriage that's still frowned upon in Alabama?

Interracial

Soviet Union Jokes More Soviet Union Jokes

Why did the Soviet Union fail?

Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it...

Why couldn't the Soviet Union get anything done?

They were always either Russian or Stalin.

Americans Jokes More Americans Jokes

Why arent the Americans playing chess?

They are missing two towers.

Why can't Americans play LoL?

They can't guard their towers.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What strengths do you bring to the job?

Long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?

CrossFit

Instruction Jokes More Instruction Jokes

Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?

Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

With a drum machine you only have to punch the instructions in once