Manual Jokes

Why do americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic

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Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission?

He was always Stalin in his manual!

Why do girls prefer to drive auto cars, instead of manual?

Because they want the D.

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

What kind of car did Jesus drive?

A manual.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What was Jesus doing on Holy Saturday?

Just chilling.

What is Jesus' favorite video game on earth?

I am bread.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Sayians does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But it'll take 3 episodes, and Krillin dies.

How many mens' rights activists does out take to change a lightbulb?

Well, not all of them.

Instruction Jokes More Instruction Jokes

How do I turn my new girlfriend on?

She's a robot and the instructions are in Chinese.

Why do they put half of the instructions in Spanish?

It drives me crazy. I feel like I am missing out on important information. They should put the whole thing in one language.

Soviet Union Jokes More Soviet Union Jokes

Why can you never trust a car made in the Soviet Union?

They keep Lenin to the left, and Stalin.

Why is everyone in the Soviet Union always in a hurry?

Why is everyone in the Soviet Union is always in a hurry? They're all Russian.

Eastern Jokes More Eastern Jokes

How many Brits does it take to change a lightbulb?

Manual work That's what underpaid Eastern immigrants are for pff

How many Brits does it take to change a lightbulb?

Manual work That's what underpaid Eastern immigrants are for pff

Brit Jokes More Brit Jokes

What are two letters a Brit can't live without?

T and Qs.

What's the difference between Americans and Brits?

Brits think 200 miles is a long distance, Americans think 200 years is a long time.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Whatever's the matter?

Asked her mother. 'I don't know' replied Mary 'but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.'

Japan Jokes More Japan Jokes

Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

Why aren't there any feminists in Japan?

Whale huntings legal