Manual Jokes

Why do Americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic

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Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission?

He was always Stalin in his manual!

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

What kind of car did Jesus drive?

A manual.

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Trouble Jokes More Trouble Jokes

What did the seaweed say when it was in trouble?

Kelp me!

Why did the chiropractor have trouble waiting behind people?

Because he didn't know what alignment. I hope this one cracks you up!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the stop light say to the car?

Don't look I am changing

How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?

Look for gray hares.

Eastern Jokes More Eastern Jokes

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of yoga do you do in a casket?

Decom-pose.

What kind of a friar loves philosophy?

A deep friar.

Mail Jokes More Mail Jokes

What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Beast wishes.

What's the normal amount of hair to mail someone?

I feel like this is a lot of hair I'm mailing to someone

Witch Jokes More Witch Jokes

Where do witches and wizards shop?

Voldemart.

How does a witch make scrambled eggs?

She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright! 'Owl be seeing you later.'

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why Is Reddit Called Reddit?

Because you already read it.

Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington?

There were no jokes in the Post.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do mosquitoes think of people who wear bug spray?

They are just OFF-full

Why did Michael Jackson call Boys 2 Men?

He thought they were a delivery service