Nun Jokes

What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath?

One has hope in her soul...

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What is black, white, black, white...?

A nun falling down the stairs

How many nuns were at the library?

Absolutely nun

What's the difference between a nurse and a nun?

A nun only serves one God.

What's black &amp white and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a javelin through her neck.

What is the best nickname for a nun in heaven?

If you guessed "Heaven nun" or "Angel nun" you're wrong. The answer was "Nun of the Above".

Which punchline do you like better?

What do you call a nun that sleep-walks a) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit

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Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

What do you call a pair of snakeskin trousers?

Serpants.

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

Wheelchair Jokes More Wheelchair Jokes

What is the best kind of vegetable?

The one in the wheelchair.

Why are people in wheelchairs always getting taken advantage of?

Because they're easy to push around and never stand up for themselves

Roamin Jokes More Roamin Jokes

What do you call a number that can't keep still?

A roamin' numeral.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin Catholic

Library Jokes More Library Jokes

What did the cannibal wipe with...... after he ate some people at the library?

Pages from *Reader's Digest*

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

Church Jokes More Church Jokes

Why did that guy shoot up the church in South Carolina?

He thought it was the white thing to do.

What's the difference between a woman coming out of church and a woman taking a bath?

The woman coming out of church as hope in her soul!

Business Jokes More Business Jokes

What did the Mexican carpeting salesman yell to promote his business?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why was the cemetery plot salesman upset?

Business was dead.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?

I was asked on an internet forum. "Because you're not allowed to take them on planes," I answered.

What is cosmetics?

Cosmetics is a woman's means for keeping a man from reading between the lines.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?

Ten-ish.

What do you do with the time saved?

Me: *tying my dogs shoes* Sorry, what