Library Jokes

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What's the tallest building in your city?

The library, because it has the most stories.

Where can you find lubricant in the library?

In the non-friction section.

What's the tallest building in the world?

A library, because there are so many stories. (Did Not Make Up this Joke)

Why did the clock get banned from the library?

It tocked too much

What is the tallest building in the entire world?

Q: What is the tallest building in the entire world? A: The library, because it has so many stories.

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.

What do you call a dog in the library?

A hush puppy.

What's the most dishonest place on earth?

The Library

How much for a happy ending?

Sir, this is a library!" *whispers* sorry, how much for a happy ending

What do you call a hundred year old man who dies in the library?

Overdue

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What was the preferred magazine of the bear that hung out behind the library?

Digest Readers.

What's the tallest building?

A library, because it has so many stories.

How many nuns were at the library?

Absolutely nun

I couldn't get a reservation at the library...

They were fully booked.

What is the tallest building in the world?

The library, it’s got the most stories!

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Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one

Why didn't Toronto's mayor tell us earlier about his drug use?

It must have fallen through a crack.

Story Jokes More Story Jokes

Who do you think was sent to cover the story of the baby lion born in the zoo?

A cub reporter.

What stories are told by basketball players?

Tall stories!

City Jokes More City Jokes

What city are you in when you drop your waffle on the beach?

NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO...there you are

What US city has the dirtiest waffles?

San Diego

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

Why didn't you check your speedometer?

Driver: It broke when I hit 100.

Why did Heisenberg remove the speedometer from his car?

So he would stop getting lost everything he checked it.

Dinosaur Jokes More Dinosaur Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur who knows how to please its woman?

A Lickalottapus

Why can't dinosaurs talk?

Because they're all dead.

Library Book Jokes More Library Book Jokes

When do Arabs return their library books?

The day they're Dubai.

Why did the library book go to the doctor?

It needed to be checked out it had a bloated appendix.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

Why would anyone want to study the Earth and how it rotates?

I guess that some people just want to see the world turn

What music do they play in a Mexican bathroom?

Earth wind and fire

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What do you call a candelabra that refuses to hold candles?

A candle-nah-brah

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them