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How do you tell when a girl really wants you?

When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

When I see a "How am I driving?

Sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence

Where will the 400 pound gorilla sleep?

Wherever it wants to. R.I.P. Harambe

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?

They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving

What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government?

Altright, altright, altright

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

Why are horse-drawn carriages so unpopular?

Cause horses are rubbish at drawing

What do you call a horse at night?

A Nightmare

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why can't you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things, literally.

How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm?

It has a blue light!

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What's the Difference between a Girl and a Woman?

Prison

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with?

The girl necks door.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula?

Count Dracula.

Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer?

Because she's probably a keeper.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What do blondes do after they comb their hair?

They pull up their pants.

Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

Why can't we feed the animals?

Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.