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How to tell an Irishman from a Scotsman on St. Patrick's Day?

One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't the Eskimo want to go hunting?

I don't know, guess he just wasn't Inuit.

Why don't women sleep on the left side of the bed?

Because they always want to be right.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?

I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face..... :D eh. Eh.?

What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist?

THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the Chinese guy tell the police when he was caught?

You got the Wong guy.

Whats the difference between a Porsche and an erection?

I dont have a Porsche. (Best told by whispering in someones ear.)

Scotsman Jokes More Scotsman Jokes

What does robbing a Scotsman get you?

Kilt

Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

X-post /r/puns Scotch.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What did the Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac do?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.

Irishman Jokes More Irishman Jokes

How does a German call an Irishman?

Komm, Sean!

What do you call and Irishman who works in a French cafe?

Paddy Hor D'oeuvre

St. Patrick Jokes More St. Patrick Jokes

What's the difference between MLK day and St Patrick's day?

Nobody minds being Irish for one day!!!!

What is the difference between Martin Luther King Day and St. Patrick's Day?

St. Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.

St Patrick Day Jokes More St Patrick Day Jokes

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.

What is the difference between Martin Luther King Day and St. Patrick's Day?

St. Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.

Tab Jokes More Tab Jokes

Who picks up the tab?

The German.

How to tell an Irishman from a Scotsman on St. Patrick's Day?

One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab.