Coma Jokes

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

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What do you call a super soldier that is in a coma?

A genetically modified vegetable

What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.

How do you get a man in a coma hard?

Lick his Comatoes

What is both a fruit and a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win?

Atrophy.

What does gasoline taste like?

I don't know, I'm in a coma.

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Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of bug bites only at your feet?

Mosqui-toes

What kind of water do ducks drink?

Bottled Waddle.

Modify Jokes More Modify Jokes

What do you get when you cross an (italian) with a gorilla?

A retarded gorilla. (Can be modified to offend any nationality or group)

Why do Angelina Jolie's shirts have such big pockets?

For her lipstick!

Vitamin Jokes More Vitamin Jokes

What kind of vitamin does a pirate take?

Vitamin sea.

What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

I can't make a vitamin

Victim Jokes More Victim Jokes

How many Tumblr women does it take to change a light bulb?

I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM!

Who were the fastest readers of all time?

The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

Bill Cosby Jokes More Bill Cosby Jokes

How is a Bill Cosby better than Ronda Rousey?

He's never met a woman he hasn't knocked out.

What happens on the first date with Bill Cosby?

I don't remember

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What the hell do you want?

Him: Um, YOU called ME.

Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?

Because they're trying asbestos they can.

Coma Ward Jokes More Coma Ward Jokes

Where do cannibals get their vegetables from?

The coma ward.

Why did the vegan zombie visit the coma ward?

Because it only ate vegetables.

Award Jokes More Award Jokes

Which honorary degree is to be awarded to someone who has made contributions to PHP?

Ph.P.

What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.