Coma Jokes

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

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What do you call a super soldier that is in a coma?

A genetically modified vegetable

What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.

How do you get a man in a coma hard?

Lick his Comatoes

What is both a fruit and a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win?

Atrophy.

What does gasoline taste like?

I don't know, I'm in a coma.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the man say when he got his dancing robot to work?

It twerks!" I don't know how this came to me..

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Involve Jokes More Involve Jokes

Why is it easier to pick a prime minister than any other leader?

Because there's only 2 factors involved.

What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics?

They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy.

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome?

Slow clap

What disease does a married man have?

Onejina

Lick Jokes More Lick Jokes

How strict is the "I licked it, it's mine" policy?

There's some things I've licked that I don't want.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?

A dog who can lick himself from across the room

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

How long does it take King Zora to move out of your way?

A week, a week, a week, a week, a week, a week.

Why was the virgins' wedding during the middle of the week?

Because Wednesday is hump day.

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

What do you call a fart in the middle of the night? What do you call a fart in the mourning?

A midnight snack A hot Breakfast

What does a Oompa Loompa Rabbi have for breakfast?

Orange Juice

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What would a midget be jealous of at a little kid?

The kid is over 5 feet tall.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What is Putin to Ukraina, a friend or a brother?

A brother, because you can choose your friends.

What did 'b' say to his friend 'e' after 'e' saved his life?

AY E! I O U edit: added Y