Coma Jokes

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

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What do you call a super soldier that is in a coma?

A genetically modified vegetable

What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.

What is both a fruit and a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win?

Atrophy.

What does gasoline taste like?

I don't know, I'm in a coma.

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Induce Jokes More Induce Jokes

What do you call a groan-inducing, kindergarten-level pun?

What do you call a marijuana induced tragedy?

Blunt Trauma

Victim Jokes More Victim Jokes

Where did he get his clothes?

That's right - a victim

What does Bill Cosby have in common with Ninjas?

Their victims never see them coming.

Friendship Jokes More Friendship Jokes

What is the best Vitamin for friendship?

B1. Because no one wants to be friends with a guy in a metabolic coma due to a thiamine deficiency.

Whatcha makin'?

God: Trust. Man can use it to form lasting bonds and friendships. What you making Satan: A bong.

Coma Ward Jokes More Coma Ward Jokes

Why did the vegan zombie visit the coma ward?

Because it only ate vegetables.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Which part of the body goes to heaven first?

A Kid replied: The legs... Because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING!!

What did the buffalo say to his kid when he sent him off to college?

Bison

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What's the difference between a 1950s mental asylum and my fridge?

One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge.

What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable?

Mrs Hawking

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.

What do you get when you feed an Eevee a sandwich?

A Luncheon!

Coma Toe Jokes More Coma Toe Jokes

What do you get when you foot falls asleep?

Coma-toes.

What do you call an unconscious foot?

Coma-toes! (I made up this joke when I was 10.)