Coma Jokes

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

April Sale

I Love Pizza & You

$5.99

What do you call a super soldier that is in a coma?

A genetically modified vegetable

What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.

What is both a fruit and a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win?

Atrophy.

What does gasoline taste like?

I don't know, I'm in a coma.

You might also enjoy:

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What do you call five tomatoes?

A tom-a-FOOT! In Europe, they call it a tom-a-METER.

What do you call a man who has lost the lower parts of his legs, but still somehow has his feet?

Tony.

Cannibal Jokes More Cannibal Jokes

What food are you able to can?

Cannibal (can able) food.

Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant?

Because he got cold feet.

Coma Toe Jokes More Coma Toe Jokes

What do you call an unconscious foot?

Coma-toes! (I made up this joke when I was 10.)

What do you get when you foot falls asleep?

Coma-toes.

Bill Cosby Jokes More Bill Cosby Jokes

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

What happens when you mix Jared from Subway and Bill Cosby?

I don't know; It was too long ago, and I can't remember.

Induce Jokes More Induce Jokes

What do you call a marijuana induced tragedy?

Blunt Trauma

What do you call a groan-inducing, kindergarten-level pun?

Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?

It reads "Small medium at large."

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of scary bees can produce milk?

Boo bees

What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

Amputee

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

How many recovering alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

We'll get on it next week

Why are Sharks the only species that get their own week?

I'd totally watch hermit crab week if they had one.