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Comb Jokes

What sits in the kitchen and gets smaller and smaller?

A baby combing its hair with an apple peeler

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What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?

Thanks, I'll never part with it.

What weighs 15,000 pounds and combs her red hair with a fork?

Princess Arielephant

What did the bald man say when he got a comb as a gift?

I'll never part with this!

What do you call the spaces between the bits on a comb?

Hair-vents.

What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

Why does C. Ronaldo comb his hair every game break?

So it won't get too Messi.

Why is it so hard to get a comb from a bald man?

Because they never part with them

What did the blonde do after she combed her hair?

She pulled her pants up.

What has teeth but no mouth?

A comb or a saw.

What does a barber yell when he plays hide-and-go-seek?

Ready or not, hair I comb!

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What do blondes do after they comb their hair?

They pull up their pants.

How does a chicken do their hair?

With a comb, In one fowl swoop.

Why wouldn't the bald man let anyone use his comb?

He couldn't part with it.

Why couldn't the quadrilateral comb out her daughters hair?

Because it was a wrecked tangle

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?

Gee, I'll never part with it!

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Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

How are we out already?

ME: *hiding dog that I wrapped up like a mummy* it's a mystery I guess

Why would people always stand still to hide from Martin Luther King Jr.?

His vision was based on movements.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

Why did the Islamic woman die when she fell into the ocean?

She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so.

What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

Full speed ahead

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What's the difference between Super Man and Spider Man?

Super Man wears his underwear over his pants..

Why do little girls put fishes down their pants?

So the can smell like big girls!

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

Why the dwarves surf in the kitchen?

Because it has microwaves

Why did the marble countertop leave the kitchen?

It was tired of being taken for granite.

Bald Man Jokes More Bald Man Jokes

What does a balding man and a tortoise have in common?

Hare loss.

Why wouldn't the bald man let anyone use his comb?

He couldn't part with it.

Barber Jokes More Barber Jokes

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg?

Because he always uses a razor.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

Where do you weigh pies?

Somewhere over a rainbow...

What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

An elephant's shadow!

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair?

Cancer