Comb Jokes

What sits in the kitchen and gets smaller and smaller?

A baby combing its hair with an apple peeler

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What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?

Thanks, I'll never part with it.

What weighs 15,000 pounds and combs her red hair with a fork?

Princess Arielephant

What did the bald man say when he got a comb as a gift?

I'll never part with this!

What do you call the spaces between the bits on a comb?

Hair-vents.

What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

Why does C. Ronaldo comb his hair every game break?

So it won't get too Messi.

Why is it so hard to get a comb from a bald man?

Because they never part with them

What did the blonde do after she combed her hair?

She pulled her pants up.

What has teeth but no mouth?

A comb or a saw.

What does a barber yell when he plays hide-and-go-seek?

Ready or not, hair I comb!

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What do blondes do after they comb their hair?

They pull up their pants.

How does a chicken do their hair?

With a comb, In one fowl swoop.

Why wouldn't the bald man let anyone use his comb?

He couldn't part with it.

Why couldn't the quadrilateral comb out her daughters hair?

Because it was a wrecked tangle

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?

Gee, I'll never part with it!

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why do Russians celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January?

Cause eight reindeer and a sleigh are a lot quicker than 6 pigs and a stoneboat.

What do you want for Christmas?

Me: a dragon! Santa: noo, be realistic Me: a girlfriend Santa: * cough * what color do you want your girlfriend

Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

What's the gift that keeps on giving?

AIDS

What did the bald man say when he got a comb as a gift?

I'll never part with this!

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why don't u share a bed?

Cried Baby Bear.

What did Russia say to Ukraine after the conflict was over?

Cry me a peninsula.

Fork Jokes More Fork Jokes

What's your favorite movie?

DATE: Girl Interupt- ME: *drops fork* What is it DATE: Girl Interu- ME: *burps* Sorry. Go on. DATE: Fargo

Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?

Because he was grounded!

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

Why are there so many piggy banks?

Pigs don't like to hide their money in the mattress.

Why does the Easter Bunny hide eggs?

Because, he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing a chicken.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

What gets you hot, baby?

Me: mmm, talk to me in an accent. H: Zoinks, like, there's a ghost! Let's get out of here Scoob! M: *swoons*

See Jokes More See Jokes

How did the blind carpenter regain his eyesight?

He picked up his hammer and saw.

What are you doing with that saw and where's your little brother?

Young Monster: Hee hee! He's my half-brother now!

Corner Jokes More Corner Jokes

Why do people with the Flu stand in corners?

Its always 90 Degrees

What's red and sits in the corner?

A naughty bus