Concrete Jokes

What do British people call concrete?

Arsephalt

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What did the fish say when he hit concrete?

Dam(n).

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it?

Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.

Why did the prison board decide to build the new prison out of concrete?

The old one was made of steal.

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Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What does a witch do if her broom is stolen?

She calls the flying squad!

What did the man say after Michael Jackson stole his coat?

Hey that's mycoat Jackson!

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

How did Bruce and Alfred build the Batcave all by themselves?

The Lord: I meant any questions about the mysteries of existence

Why did the console peasants walk across the road?

To render the building on the other side.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call an academic who apologises all the time?

An anthropologist

What did the farmer say when he tried to milk the cow, but nothing came out?

Time to try the udder one.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did Ted get fired from his job?

Because he would only do the minimum?

What do you call an oyster who can't find another job?

A clamboni driver!

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why did Tupac go to the gym?

To get a sixpac! (Thank you 7th grade me)

What do you call a dog that is underwater?

A sub-woofer! Thank you, I'll be here all day.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did the entrepreneur decide to go into the landfill business?

He heard it was a growing field.

Why did Mr. Steaks decide he would take his wife's surname?

Because he didn't want his daughters to be called Ms. Steaks.

British Jokes More British Jokes

What did the British proton say after 5 cups of coffee?

I feel positively charged!

Why are all ants British?

Because they colonize.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

Why do Mexicans keep naming their child Jesus?

Jesus wasn't Mexican. He was human.

What does the arabs put in their Mexican food?

Allah-penos