Concrete Jokes

What do British people call concrete?

Arsephalt

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What did the fish say when he hit concrete?

Dam(n).

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it?

Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.

Why did the prison board decide to build the new prison out of concrete?

The old one was made of steal.

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Why do grandparents have so many clocks?

So they won't run out of time

What's brown and runs around your garden?

Your fence.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

What did the hipster say......when he was told to get off the couch?

Nah-imma-stay

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why couldn't the man be bothered to look at the origami mountains?

Because it was pay-per view.* "paper view"

How do you find a blonde on reddit?

Look for the comments that just say "huh "

Alamo Wall Jokes More Alamo Wall Jokes

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

British People Jokes More British People Jokes

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

Why can't British people go to North Korea?

Nobody at the ticket counter knows what "north career" means

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Where do chicken strips find love?

Chicken tinder Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem

Why don't birds have to wear camouflage?

Because they are already "in the skies".

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What do you call a fish that operates on brains?

A brain sturgeon.

How many surrealist does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish

Granite Jokes More Granite Jokes

What is the best thing about Dwane "the rock" Johnson's physique?

Nobody takes him for granite.

What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don't take me for granite!