Concrete Jokes

What do British people call concrete?

Arsephalt

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What did the fish say when he hit concrete?

Dam(n).

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it?

Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.

Why did the prison board decide to build the new prison out of concrete?

The old one was made of steal.

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Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

What do you call customers at Lidl?

Lidl people.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What's the difference between the jokes I read today, and the jokes I read last week?

The posters

What do Will and Jaden Smith like about today?

It's After Earth Day.

Granite Jokes More Granite Jokes

Why is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson always so sad?

Everyone takes him for granite.

What was the under-appreciated, often-exploited kitchen contractor's complaint?

I'm always taken for granite!

Old Jokes More Old Jokes

Why did the prison board decide to build the new prison out of concrete?

The old one was made of steal.

How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to put in the new one, and two to sing about how good the old one was.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What did the management consultant think of his job?

It was the Bain of his existence.

What do Apple and Blackberry have in common?

Neither one has Jobs.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why don't they play poker in the savanna?

Because there are too many cheetahs. Thank you i will be here all day.

What do you call a dog that is underwater?

A sub-woofer! Thank you, I'll be here all day.

Alamo Jokes More Alamo Jokes

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at The Alamo?

They only had 4 cars.

What did Davy Crockett say when he showed up to the Alamo?

What are all these landscapers doing here?

British People Jokes More British People Jokes

What's the difference between watts and ohms?

Watts are a unit of electrical energy. Ohms are where British people live.

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.