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Deny Jokes

Why was the note denied alcohol?

Because it was A Minor.

We've Got This Love Thing Down

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We've Got This Love Thing Down

Why was Saint Peter so good at basketball?

He denied Jesus 3 times

Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?

Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.

What's worse than getting dumped by your girlriend?

Getting denied by a car when hitch-hiking.

Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license?

Because it means they *cantaloupe*

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Catholics and Protestants?

Protestants have sects.

What is the difference between an apple and an orange?

None, the two are not a snake

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

What is Samsung's next Note series phone after Note 7?

Samsung Not Explode

Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane?

Do I really have to answer that Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What is the definition of a farmer?

Someone who is outstanding in his field. Credit: Laffy Taffy

What doctors shop at Barnes and Noble?

Doctors without Borders. Credit to Max Scoville.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car, outside of a planned parenthood center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger.

Where does Stevie Wonder park his car?

In blind spots.

Upset Jokes More Upset Jokes

Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard George Michael will only play new songs at his concerts?

He found his lack of Faith disturbing.

Where you see yourself in 5 years?

Doing your job. "And me " Jobless and upset about the divorce "OMG" *runs out crying*

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did the banker leave his job?

He lost interest

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

How a husband describe his wife?

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

Where is the lift?

American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language.

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

Why did the melon insist on having a big wedding?

Because it cantaloupe.

What did the watermelon say to the honeydew?

I'm sorry baby, we just cantaloupe.