Disney Jokes

What do Disney and Kellogg's have in common?

They both make pop tarts.

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What do Disney movies and coathangers have in common?

They can both bring out the child from within.

What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk?

Disney spells.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

What have Disney and the U.K. got in common?

Both dropped the EU And screwed over a lot of people

What did Disney call their remake of Dante's Inferno?

101 damnations

Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse?

She was having Disney spells.

What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

What's a Mexican's favorite Disney movie?

Mow lawn. Sorry.

Why did the Country Bear Jamboree bear blush?

Because he was a bear a-singing...... I am at Disney with the kids this week...

Which knee?

Mickey: Disney

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What do you call toddlers who are dictators?

Dictator Tots

How many do I need to get an Xbox?

Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

Beauty Jokes More Beauty Jokes

What kind of people have the most beautiful eyes?

Beekeepers. Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder.

Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a black man has been using your computer?

It won't be there

What do you say to a girl with a black eye?

Nothing. You already told her.

Coathanger Jokes More Coathanger Jokes

What do accidental pregnancies and locked cars both have in common?

Both can be fixed with a coathanger.

What's the difference between a potato and a vegetable...?

Not knowing how to use a coathanger...

Pinnochio Jokes More Pinnochio Jokes

Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?

Because he has a woodpecker!

What secret organization does Pinnochio work for?

Wooden you like to know

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

Why does ACDC prefer Android to Apple?

She's Got The Jack

How do you know if you've fallen in love with an apple from France?

Your heart goes "pomme pomme... pomme pomme..."

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Who is the most trustworthy lover?

Shakira. Her hips don't lie.

What's brown and steaming and lies behind the barracks?

Gomer's pile.

Intel Jokes More Intel Jokes

What's the biggest difference between Intel and AMD?

How they process things.

What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?

The warning label.