Disney Jokes

What do Disney and Kellogg's have in common?

They both make pop tarts.

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What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk?

Disney spells.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

What have Disney and the U.K. got in common?

Both dropped the EU And screwed over a lot of people

What did Disney call their remake of Dante's Inferno?

101 damnations

Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse?

She was having Disney spells.

What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

What's a Mexican's favorite Disney movie?

Mow lawn. Sorry.

Why did the Country Bear Jamboree bear blush?

Because he was a bear a-singing...... I am at Disney with the kids this week...

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Tot Jokes More Tot Jokes

Why did the alligator go to Disney World?

To get some tots!

How many do I need to get an Xbox?

Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

Alligator Jokes More Alligator Jokes

What happens after an alligator commits a crime?

You call an investigator

What do you call an alligator with a map?

A Navigator.

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7?

They both suffered the loss of one very important port.

What Did MLK Say When Asked If He Suffered From Jock Itch?

I have a cream.

Michael Jackson Jokes More Michael Jackson Jokes

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

Why did Michael Jackson always lose in a race?

Because he always came in a lil behind.

Google Jokes More Google Jokes

What do you call the version of google maps without pac man?

Pac Man-free Ver.

What do you call someone who hates browsing the web with Google?

A Chromophobe.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What happened when Apple added the new touchbar?

They're taking away functions, and there's no escape.

How do you get the most apples at Halloween?

Take a snorkel.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What do you call a deceptive feline?

A lion. Get it guys lol? Lion Lying I'll pounce myself out now...

Who is the most trustworthy lover?

Shakira. Her hips don't lie.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why didn't you talk to me about renting a bouncy house?

Me stops jumping: You would have said no

How do you talk to an angel" Me: I don't know, Skype I guess?

How do you hold her close to where you are" Me: Aren't most angels men