Freezer Jokes

Why did the chicken lock itself in the freezer?

To get to the other side.

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How do you make hard cider?

Put it in the freezer.

How do you make a strawberry shake?

You put it in a freezer!

What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?

Shiver me timbers!

How do you make a dog meow?

Put it in the freezer for three days. Run it through a bandsaw. Meoooooow.

Why is it a good idea to put your money in the freezer, instead of the bank?

So you always have access to cold hard cash...

How do you make a cat go "meow"?

Take it out of the freezer and run it through a bandsaw.

What do a redhead and a freezer have in common?

They've both got ice on the inside.

Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?

So she could keep the refrigerator cold.

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

What did the baseball manager do when he needed another man in the bullpen?

He took a can of orange juice from the freezer and made a pitcher.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

('He wanted cold hard cash!')

What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer?

Mice cubes!

Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator?

Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.

What's the most dangerous thing in your freezer?

Ice is.

Why did the monster put the cake in the freezer?

Because he had been told to ice it.

Why did Batman fill his freezer with water bottles?

Because he wanted just ice.

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash!

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He got the shakes instead.

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What did the man say when he accidentally bumped into the astronaut?

I Apollo-gize

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Pardon me

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What do you call someone who barely graduated from med school?

Doctor.

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He went to Europe to study a-Broderick

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A guy who is up all night wondering if there is a dog.

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A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

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Why is it always a good idea to pack asparagus when you go camping?

In case your other agus breaks.

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

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What did Captain Kirk find at the end of the rainbow?

A LepreKHAAAAAAN!

How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors?

They just have a feel for that kind of thing.

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What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

What do the French call artificial feet for cats?

Faux Paws

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How do you make a dog go meow?

Freeze it and run it through a bandsaw. MEEEOWW!!

Why did the chicken say, "Meow, oink, bow-wow, moo?

He was studying foreign languages.