Gasoline Jokes

What's the difference between water and gasoline?

In Flint Michigan you can get gasoline that is unleaded.

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Why does my shampoo smell like gasoline?

And when did my wife start smoking

How much of a raise do you need to get the job done?

About five gallons of gasoline," I replied.

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

What does gasoline taste like?

I don't know, I'm in a coma.

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Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What does a North Korean ricochet sound like?

PYONG! YANG!

What is the sound of one hand typing?

Fap-fap-fap.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to!

Dunk Jokes More Dunk Jokes

Why did the reporter only dunk chips in the middle of the dip?

He just wanted the inside scoop.

How do you cure the hiccups?

Dunk your head in a bucket of water and pull it out twice.

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?

A panda with a set of drums.

Why is call of duty infinite warfare set in space?

Because nobody liked it on earth.

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

What's the best part of having Miley Cyrus over for Thanksgiving dinner?

Unlimited twerky

What's the best part about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag's a plus.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?

Ok you 2 dont start anything

What does the beginning of the German alphabet start with?

Not Z.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why can't you use "Beef stew"as a password?

Because it's not stroganoff.

Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?

So she could use it as a mirror.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?

A furrycanine

What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar?

Revocation of your grant money and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee.