Gasoline Jokes

How to make a dog meow or your cat bark?

Freeze your dog and then take an angle grinder and use it on your dog and it Will say meeeeeow. Dunk your cat in gasoline and light it on fire and it Will say woof

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you make a Cat sound like a Dog?

You pour some gasoline on it, light it on fire and it will go

What's the difference between water and gasoline?

In Flint Michigan you can get gasoline that is unleaded.

How do you make a cat sounds like a dog?

Douse it in gasoline and set it on fire.!

How do you make a cat woof?

Soak it in gasoline and light it on fire... WOOF!

How do you make a cat go 'woof'?

Douse it in gasoline and set it alight.

Why does my shampoo smell like gasoline?

And when did my wife start smoking

How much of a raise do you need to get the job done?

About five gallons of gasoline," I replied.

How to teach a cat how to bark?

Pour some gasoline on it and WOOF!

How do you change a cat into a dog?

Soak it in gasoline, hold a match up to it, and "woof!"

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What does gasoline taste like?

I don't know, I'm in a coma.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the similarity between your wife and a tin roof in a hurricane?

If you didn't nail them properly they'll go see your neighbor

How's the ventriloquism going?

ME: Not good. WIFE: But I got you that Ventriloquism For Dummies book. ME: I don't think he read it.

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

What's the best part of dating 29 year olds?

There's 20 of them. (More funny out loud)

What's the best part of divorce?

Two Kwanzaas

Despise Jokes More Despise Jokes

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

What do you call a treehouse full of women you despise?

A country.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What do you call a dictionary that smokes weed?

High definition

What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What are pigskins used for?

Holding the pig together.

What's the best fabric Softener to use on a cat?

Pounce...

Douse Jokes More Douse Jokes

How do you make a cat go 'woof'?

Douse it in gasoline and set it alight.

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

Douse it with petrol and toss a lit match. WOOF!

Pour Jokes More Pour Jokes

What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

Hot cross bunnies Happy Easter

What do you call it when water is poured over a clock?

Time dilution.