Miss Piggy Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

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Why was Miss Piggy sick for her show?

There was a frog in her throat.

Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work?

Because she had a frog in her throat.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

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Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn?

Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.

Whats ur emergency?

OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- "-of my sons mouth."

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What happens when Frogs die playing Call of Duty?

They respawn.

Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?

A frog with hiccups!

69 Jokes More 69 Jokes

What is 34.5?

69 for midgets

Why does 71 like 68?

Because 68 69 70.

Piggy Jokes More Piggy Jokes

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What do you say to the cashier when you're adamant about using an expired coupon?

Dis counts!!

Why is it so hard to keep track of counting in Afghanistan?

Because of the Taliban (say it out loud)

Kermit Jokes More Kermit Jokes

What do you have when you have two small, green balls in your hand?

Kermit's undivided

What's small and green and smells like pork?

Kermit's Finger.

Kermitment Jokes More Kermitment Jokes

Why did Mrs. Piggy's relationship fail?

She couldn't stand making Kermitments

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

How can working with cow hide act in your favor on a first date?

As if she's going to lay there and be swayed by some new buck.

What does 7-11 have in common with women?

Both of their eggs have sell-by dates.