Urine Jokes

What did the PEE CLUB SOCIETY said to me on the taster session?

URINE!

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What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.

What did the urologist say to his physician before he hired him?

URINE.

What did the swollen prostate say during the prostatectomy?

I'm out, urine.

What did the toilet say to the pee?

Urine

What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one?

Urine charge now.

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

What did the Urologist tell his newly accepted resident?

Urine.

Why do American beer companies always advise that their beer should be served cold?

So you can tell it apart from urine

What do you say to the guy who just jumped in the septic tank?

Urine over your head!

What would be the movie called if it were about you?

You Yourself &amp Urine.

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What's bad about wetting your bed?

Urine it.

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Why does John Snow wear a Rolex?

Because he's a man of the nice watch

What's the last thing you want to hear while using a urinal?

Nice watch

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Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.

Why don't call centers hire alligators?

They can't croco-dial the phones.

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Why is a UTI such a bad thing?

Because it means urine trouble

Why do urologists like UTIs?

It means urine business.

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What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly?

Urine trouble, mate!

What did the drug test say to the addict?

URINE TROUBLE!

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Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium. (Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)

Did you hear that David lost his ID in Prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

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Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?

She wanted to see how long she slept.

What do history teachers make when they want to get together?

Dates!

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What do you call a police officer that doesn't get out of bed?

An under cover cop.

How do you describe a hierarchy of police officers with only one word?

Police police police police police police police police police police police.

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What happened when Jesus forgot to look both ways?

He died on the cross!

What is the integral of 1/cabin?

B: "Log cabin!" A: "Nope, Houseboat. You forgot the C."