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Usain Bolt Jokes

What's faster than Usain Bolt?

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What is brown and runny?

Usain Bolt

What's black and runny?

Usain Bolt.

What Cell Phone Company does Usain Bolt use?

Sprint

What does Usain Bolt do when he misses the bus?

He waits at the next station

What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus?

He waits for it at the next stop.

What do you call Usain Bolt when he's running from a lion?

Fast food

What does a cheetah call Usain Bolt?

Fast food

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Bus Jokes More Bus Jokes

What did the Circle say to the Square on the bus?

Oh no! I've got on the Rhombus!

What do you call a secret agent running for the bus?

A Russian spy.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you put the Energizer bunny's batteries in backwards?

It keeps coming, and coming, and coming...

What happens when there are two Islamic terrorist identical brothers and one is way taller than the other?

The Twin Towers.

Station Jokes More Station Jokes

What does Usain Bolt do when he misses the bus?

He waits at the next station

What do you call a Mexican stationed out at sea?

A Navy Bean

Runner Jokes More Runner Jokes

What do you call it when Usain Bolt is standing next to your mom?

A runner in scoring position.

Why are most runners single?

At best they're ASICS.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock?

She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.

How does an SJW screw in a light-bulb?

Zir holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around zirself.

Racist Jokes More Racist Jokes

What did the racist ask Santa for?

A white Christmas.

What do you call a person that worships NASCAR?

A racist!

Lion Jokes More Lion Jokes

What do you get when you cross an octopus and a lion?

A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.

What do you call Usain Bolt when he's running from a lion?

Fast food

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do you call Dana Carvey standing on the back of Dana Carvey?

Turtles all the way down

What do you call a man standing up to his knees in water?

Wade