Comcast Jokes

What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

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Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

Why is the food so cold and bland?

Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.

Why can't zombies play the blues?

Just feels like they don't put their soul in to it.

Company Jokes More Company Jokes

What do you call a company run entirely by ghosts?

An incorporation.

Why were all the computers in the company frozen?

Because they let IT go

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between and out-law and an in-law?

One's wanted.

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a cow?

Cows are real.

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?

Because he was a fungi

Why does Tom Hiddleston only invite his closest friends/family to his birthday?

He likes to keep things low key.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What do you do when you meet a robotic genie?

You mech a wish.

What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner!

Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What's the worst part about driving Ford off a cliff?

Ford was my best friend.

What's the worst part about swim-up bars?

The watery stools

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?

E.T. phoned home.

How did people charge their phones before electricity?

They didn't...!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What is the best kind of dog to ask for directions?

A Chihuahua because it knows all the shortcuts!

What's the difference between a civilian camp and an ISIS base?

I don't know I just fly the drones