Comcast Jokes

What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

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How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'll just keep complimenting it and get mad when it doesn't want to screw.

How many Apple executives does it take to change a light bulb?

They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation.

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What you you call a girl you meet on Reddit?

You don't.

Why did the snail cross the road?

It is not clear yet, let it cross the road first. Update: It has been confirmed that it was to meet the Chicken who crossed the road earlier.

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Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?

So she could use it as a mirror.

Why did the knight stop using the internet?

Because he was sick of chainmail.

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What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet?

Reddish.

How do You find the worst joke of the internet?

You reddit.

Sir Jokes More Sir Jokes

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

Sir" from a distance.

What do you call a man holding a machine gun?

Sir

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Why was Snape in the middle of the road?

So you would never know what side he was on.

Why couldn't the apple speak to the orange?

Because he didn't know Mandarin

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Which company saw the end of disco coming from a mile away?

Discover.

What company makes the best fireworks?

Spacex