Comcast Jokes

What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

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How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

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Founder Jokes More Founder Jokes

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

Who's the founder of the Japanese Wikipedia?

Yojimbo Wales! (Joke stolen from co-worker)

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What did the farmer say to Pat Sajak?

I'd like to buy an owl

Why aren't fish good tennis players?

They don't like getting close to the net!

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why was the first computer never invited to dinner?

It would just take a few bytes then run.

What Super Models should you invite to your birthday party?

Cake Moss and Naomi Candles

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why are you being so salty?

Her response - with a flat, even look: "I've been well seasoned." I lost it

What's the most important meal of the day to help you lose pounds?

Brexit

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What did the man say while holding a square clock?

I'm holding Time Square!

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

Service Jokes More Service Jokes

What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service.

Why should you always bring an iPhone to Mos Eisley Cantina?

Because droids can't get service.

Meth Head Jokes More Meth Head Jokes

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

What did the facial hair say when it had to leave the party?

Sorry guys, moustache!

Why did the young ghost leave the party?

Everyone started drinking boo's. Happy Halloween!