Comcast Jokes

How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

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What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

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Plug Jokes More Plug Jokes

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

What's a bear's favorite fruit?

Tom (). Explanation: Bears are made up of atoms. Plug:

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What did the hail storm say to the roof?

Hang onto your shingles this will be no ordinary sprinkles

Why are fire engines red?

You would be too if you were running down the road with your hose hanging out!

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?

Toucan

How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many Dell Service Reps does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, I am on hold.

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music!

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What kind of pants to Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim...denim denim demin

Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

Grinder (Thanks, Ellen)

Satan Jokes More Satan Jokes

Where's the election victory that you promised me?

Satan: Where's the soul that you said you had

Why does it take so long when Satan is in front of you in line at the post office?

Because the devil takes many forms.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

What do you say if you meet a toad?

Wart's new

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries?

A one trip pony

Why does nobody like to sit next to Elsa?

Coz...she "lets it go!"