Film Jokes

Whats the biggest difference between men and women?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.

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How do you know a neighborhood is too ghetto to film in?

If most people leave before shooting starts.

Why did American football player Michael Vick want to see the film "Top Gun"?

He heard the film had dogfighting scenes

What did the mathematician say about vertical videos?

I'm sorry, but the video you filmed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

What does a sheep call a film it doesn't like?

A baaahhhd movie. ()

What do they always forget to do after filming a season of Game of Thrones?

The last one out is meant to get the Wights

Where does a cow go to watch a film?

The mooovies. pls tell to friends.

How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in and one to film it. One, but it takes him fifty tries.

What do you call a gore thriller that can't get enough funding?

A film that needs morbids.

What do the Russians use to film their war with Isis?

Daeshcams

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What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema?

Miss most of the film!

What's a bridges favourite genre of film?

Suspense tion

What film do you get when you pull your pants down?

Free Willy

What do you call the place where parrots make films?

Pollywood!

What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?

Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.

Which fly makes films?

Stephen Speilbug!

How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

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90 Degree Jokes More 90 Degree Jokes

Why would I do that?

Teacher: Because it's 90 degrees over there.

What should you do when you are cold?

Stand in a corner, corners are 90 degrees

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

A viola burns longer.

What's the difference between Martin Luther King Jr. Day and St. Patricks Day?

Everyone want to be Irish on St. Patricks Day.

Dogfight Jokes More Dogfight Jokes

Why should you never dogfight mermaids?

They're masters in Arielle combat

Why did American football player Michael Vick want to see the film "Top Gun"?

He heard the film had dogfighting scenes

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?

They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving

What do you call a guy with no arms &amp no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russel

2000 Jokes More 2000 Jokes

What has 2000 eyes and 4000 feet?

A thousand dogs.

Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers?

They only had one pickup

Al Gore Jokes More Al Gore Jokes

What did the wind turbine say to Al Gore?

I'm a big fan.

What does modern horror films and the 2000 presidential election have in common?

It's Al Gore

American Jokes More American Jokes

What did the American WWI vet say to the angry German veteran?

Can't we just let Argonne's be Argonne's?

What's red, white, and black all over?

An American plantation.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did the accountant go crazy?

He started to hear invoices in his head.

What joke is the darkest?

Fire away please! I want to hear it all!