Highway Jokes

Why is there only a stairway to heaven but a highway to hell?

Easy. More traffic is going to hell.

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What did the guy on LSD say while driving on the highway?

Woah, the traffic is moving.

What do you get when you cross a highway with an armadillo?

About halfway across.

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today

Why did the guy get aroused by the highway?

Because there were lots of turn ons.

What is the fastest way to exit a car on the highway?

Through the windshield

Why did Nixon never drive on the highway?

Because he always took the low road.

How fast are black people allowed to go on the highway?

25 to Life.

What noise does a cat make going down the highway?

Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!

What do you call a state named after highways?

Road Island.

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Giraffe Jokes More Giraffe Jokes

Why are giraffes such good friends?

They are always willing to stick their neck out for you.

What did the bartender say to the giraffe when he ordered a beer?

Long neck or giraffed?

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why isn't Barney the Dinosaur allowed to drive?

Because everybody knows -- tyrannosaurus wrecks.

What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Which program do Jedis use to open PDF files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi.

What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

Sikh Jokes More Sikh Jokes

What type of jokes do Sikhs hate?

Puns

What do you call an all Sikh band?

N'Singh.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What about the kids?

He asked. I said, "they're still together."

How do you find white Canadian reggae musician Snow in the snow?

You ask an informer

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

How much does the average introvert weigh?

Not enough to break the ice.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the mummy stop using the Internet?

He was getting far too wrapped up in it.

Why was the powerlifter fired from his job at the restaurant?

He was awesome at cleaning the bar, but he wouldn't stop jerking it.

Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

Which part of the body goes to heaven first?

A Kid replied: The legs... Because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING!!

What do you call a sacred, flammable piece of wood?

A match made in Heaven.