Highway Jokes

Why is there only a stairway to heaven but a highway to hell?

Easy. More traffic is going to hell.

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What did the guy on LSD say while driving on the highway?

Woah, the traffic is moving.

What do you get when you cross a highway with an armadillo?

About halfway across.

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today

Why did the guy get aroused by the highway?

Because there were lots of turn ons.

What is the fastest way to exit a car on the highway?

Through the windshield

Why did Nixon never drive on the highway?

Because he always took the low road.

How fast are black people allowed to go on the highway?

25 to Life.

What noise does a cat make going down the highway?

Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!

What do you call a state named after highways?

Road Island.

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Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What's black, white, red, and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a javelin through her head.

Which is harder to make?

A blonde brunette or a red-headed snowman A: A blonde because you have to hollow out its head

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why couldn't the Japanese guy see his car?

Because he had a cataract!

Where do pigs park their cars?

In porking lots.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?

They will give you a piece of your mind.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the whale cross the road?

To get to the other tide.

Why did the chicken cross the school yard?

To get to the other slide!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What is this alien looking thing in a wig trying to sing?

Oh wait thats Nicki Minaj. Why would an alien in a wig pick Nicki Minaj as a name

When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

Stairway Jokes More Stairway Jokes

Why is there only a stairway to heaven but a highway to hell?

Easy. More traffic is going to hell.

Why did the guitar shop fail a fire safety inspection?

No Stairway.

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

What do I want to do to your body?

I don't know. Identify it, I guess.

Where is the remote?

All the way over there." "Guess I'm watching this."

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur who knows how to please its woman?

A Lickalottapus

How are women like casinos?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.