Operate Jokes

What Operating System does a Redditor use?

Fedora Linux!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why do the KGB operate in groups of three?

A. "One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."

When can you operate?

Lighting a candle* Doctor: When we find you a new liver.

What's the first thing you install on a new computer?

The operating system

How does a redheaded surgeon operate?

Gingerly

How many FIFA officials does it take to change a light bulb?

None**. They operate in the **dark**.

What do you call a monk that operates a door unlocking service?

A monkey. (p.s. I have a wonderful, terrible love for bad jokes)

What do you call a fish that operates on brains?

A brain sturgeon.

Why do cats make better medical technicians than dogs?

Because dogs can't operate MRI machines, but catscan.

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Apologize Jokes More Apologize Jokes

Why did the dolphin apologize?

He didn't do it on porpoise.

How did the failing Heroes of the Storm player apologize to their teammate?

I'm gonna level with you.

Ste Operation Jokes More Ste Operation Jokes

Why did the undercover cop throw a wasp nest at the drug dealer?

It was a sting operation.

What do The Police do to catch criminals easily?

Sting operation, of course!

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What do you get if you inject a baby goat with chimpanzee DNA?

Thrown out of the petting zoo.

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why don't you buy drugs from an Emo?

Their stuff is always cut.

How many people work in the Lada factory?

Two. One to cut and one to glue

Electric Chair Jokes More Electric Chair Jokes

Why did the robot get the electric chair?

Because he was charged with battery.

Why didn't the criminal train operator die when he got the electric chair?

He was a bad conductor.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a cow, and 9/11?

You can't milk a cow for 14 years.

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of phone does The Flash use?

Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash

What kind of photograph does Arnold Schwarzenegger take?

Polaroids.

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

What did the nihilist say to the physicist?

Nevermind, it doesn't really matter.

Why is Bon Jovi's bed always messy?

Because he thinks it doesn't matter if you make it or not