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Pregnant Woman Jokes

What does a lightbulb and a pregnant woman have in common?

Its easy to break the little light inside them.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

Why did the pregnant woman love to tell jokes?

Because she had a pun in the oven!

What do a burnt pizza and a pregnant woman have in common?

The guy didn't pull it out fast enough!

What's the healthiest sport a pregnant women can play?

Kick boxing

What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

In all 3 cases, someone forgot to pull it out.

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a supermodel?

Nothing if her husband knows what's good for him!

How many pregnant women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one. She holds it while the world revolves around her.

Why was the pregnant woman screaming "wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't!"?

She was having contractions.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

It's dangerous to hit a lightbulb with a bat.

What is the difference between Scotland and a pregnant woman?

A pregnant woman is in Labour

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Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's taking the pharmacist so long?

It's just one prescription" *behind the counter the pharmacist is sinking in quicksand and screaming*

What did the hammer announce over the intercom to the evacuating screws screaming for help?

This is not a drill!

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

Why did ygritte break up with Jon Snow?

She didn't want six inches of snow all year long.

Why did the melon break up with her melon boyfriend?

He told her he *can't elope*.

Deliver Jokes More Deliver Jokes

Why does OP never deliver?

Removed

What did the doctor say when he delivered a blonde-haired baby to an expecting Chinese couple?

Two Wongs don't make a white

Oven Jokes More Oven Jokes

Why does Germany have so many different kinds of bread?

Well, we had to do something with the ovens.

How do you make a duck sing?

Put it in the oven till it's Bill Withers.

Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

What's that difference between a pun and a dad joke?

Dad jokes are punnier.

Penetrate Jokes More Penetrate Jokes

What do I have in common with neutrinos?

We are both constantly penetrating your mum.

Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists?

They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. explanation(http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slitexperiment)

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

What is skeleton?

Interviewer:what is skeleton? Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Why were the camels wearing sandals?

To stop themselves sinking into the sand. Why did the ostrich stick its head in the sand To look at the camels who forgot to put their sandals on.

Step Jokes More Step Jokes

What does a dog do that you step in?

Pants.

What are the three steps to put an elephant into the fridge..?

1.Open the fridge 2.Put the elephant in 3.Close the fridge