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Raisin Jokes

Why did Jesus drink wine at the last supper?

Because in 3 days, he would be a raisin

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Why are oatmeal cookies better?

No raisin

Where are the raisins today?

A student used to give his teacher some raisins everyday. He kept giving them for 3 months straight. Then one day he did not give raisins to his teacher. And his teacher asked him "Where are the raisins today?", and the boy said "My rabbit died."

Why didn't the Christmas Cake go to the dance?

He had his raisins...

What did the raisin see when she came home early from work?

Her husband on a date.

Why did the Raisin take a Prune to the Prom?

Because he couldn't find a Date!

How did the raisin have fun at the movies?

It took a date....

Where can you find information about raisins that commit adultery?

Currant Affairs

How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix?

One I say one.

Why did the raisin take the prune to the New Year's ball?

Because he couldn't find a date!

What do you call a spider with no legs?

A raisin

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What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

Why did the raisin go out with a prune?

He couldn't get a date!

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Raisin Bran Jokes More Raisin Bran Jokes

What is Hodor's favorite cereal?

Raisin Bran.

How did Eddard Stark get his daily recommended amount of fiber?

Raisin' Bran.

Commit Jokes More Commit Jokes

How do you figure out if Will Smith committed a crime?

Dust for Fresh Prints! (i this version better than any snowstorm b.s.)

What happens if a pyramid commits a crime?

It is put in imPRISMment!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?

Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.

How many super sayen do you need to change a bulb?

Only one, but it take 4 episodes and Krilin died at the end.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do Jesus and Muhammad have in common?

They both nailed a 2x4.

Why does Jesus like Japanese food?

Because he loves miso

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

What do you call a movie about a low-magnitude Iron ion that skips school?

Ferrous Bueller's Day Off

Where does the brown sugar go to watch a movie?

The Cinemon.

3 Day Jokes More 3 Day Jokes

How long does it take to drive across France?

3 days by panzer

Why does Jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

Whoever answers my next question, can go home One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that?

Boy: Me and I'm going home now.

Whole Foods "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok?

Yes!" puts half the cash I had to charge for the bag

3 Month Jokes More 3 Month Jokes

Where are the raisins today?

A student used to give his teacher some raisins everyday. He kept giving them for 3 months straight. Then one day he did not give raisins to his teacher. And his teacher asked him "Where are the raisins today?", and the boy said "My rabbit died."

Why doesn't anyone watch women's hockey?

The games take 3 months to play!