Silence Jokes

What is Sean Murray's favorite song?

The sound of silence

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What do you hear if you hold a kebap to your ear?

The silence of the lambs

Why is your paper blank?

Teacher: Why is your paper blank? Student: Sometimes silence is the best answer!

What do you tell someone who doesn't like Depeche Mode?

Enjoy the silence.

What movie was made when Hannibal Lecter got Paralysed?

Silence of the Limbs

Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.

What's your favourite onomatopoeic word?

Mine's "silence".

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Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does a Chinese cat make?

Mao

What sound does a debugging Web Developer make?

Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. *only true Web Developers will understand* *original joke*

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why was the first computer never invited to dinner?

It would just take a few bytes then run.

What do you get when you mix free running with golf?

Parfour Sorry

Teacher Jokes More Teacher Jokes

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

Asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

How much is half of 8?

Pupil: Up and down or across Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Well up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do IT technicians prefer to be paid?

Cache in hand.

Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed?

To catch her false teeth.

Song Jokes More Song Jokes

Why did Gandalf never listen to the song "Dream Police"?

Because he was no conjurer of Cheap Trick

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal?

He wasn't cut out for this.

What did the manager of a log cutting company tell his employees when they were working too slow?

Chop chop.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

Who wants two tickets to the gun show?

I bought the Groupon but can't make it

Where does Sean Connery keep his guns?

In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?

Thanks for the handy cap.

What did the baby say to its mom after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!