April Sale - 20% Off

Tick Jokes

What makes the Palestinians tick?

Not counting the bombs strapped to their chests, I have no clue.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

Your Age Is Only Math

What do you call a tick on the moon?

A lunatic.

Why did the German watchmaker say to the watch that kept saying "Tick, tick, tick, tick,..."?

Ve haff vays of meking you tock.

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

What do you call a midget in a subway saying, "tick...tick...tick..."?

A metro-gnome

What really ticks people off?

Time bombs.

Why did the girl spray her clock?

It was full of ticks.

How can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb?

You can hear their brooms tick!

What did the German watch repairer say to his watch that would only go tick, tick, tick?

"Ve have vays of making you tock!"

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?

It was for 'tick or tweet'!

You might also enjoy:

Cigarette Jokes More Cigarette Jokes

How are Cigarettes like Hamsters?

They're harmless until you put one in your mouth and light in on fire

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?

Yours.

German Jokes More German Jokes

What do German women's lingerie and Africa have in common?

Ze-bras!

How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin?

First, invade ze kitchen...

Ve Haff Vay Jokes More Ve Haff Vay Jokes

What did the German clock maker say to the broken clock?

Ve haff vays of making you tock!

Why did the German watchmaker say to the watch that kept saying "Tick, tick, tick, tick,..."?

Ve haff vays of meking you tock.

Lean Jokes More Lean Jokes

What kind of body do you want to have?

ME: *leans in close* I'd prefer human

Why is the leaning tower of Pisa in Italy?

It's Italicized

Bomb Jokes More Bomb Jokes

Why did the USA bomb the kebab shop?

Because there was a rumor they were harboring free radicals.

What makes the Palestinians tick?

Not counting the bombs strapped to their chests, I have no clue.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How much do you love me?

Count the stars in the sky and that's how much I love you "But it's so cloudy" *pats her on the head* Yeah I know

Why do pirates love football so much?

Cus they love to count YAAAARds.

Grab Jokes More Grab Jokes

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

How do you call a dog without legs?

You don't you go and grab him

Vay Jokes More Vay Jokes

What did the German watch repairer say to his watch that would only go tick, tick, tick?

"Ve have vays of making you tock!"

What did the German clock maker say to the clock that would only go "tick tick tick?

Vee have vays of making you tock!