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Tick Jokes

What makes the Palestinians tick?

Not counting the bombs strapped to their chests, I have no clue.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Your Age Is Only Math

What do you call a tick on the moon?

A lunatic.

Why did the German watchmaker say to the watch that kept saying "Tick, tick, tick, tick,..."?

Ve haff vays of meking you tock.

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

What do you call a midget in a subway saying, "tick...tick...tick..."?

A metro-gnome

What really ticks people off?

Time bombs.

Why did the girl spray her clock?

It was full of ticks.

How can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb?

You can hear their brooms tick!

What did the German watch repairer say to his watch that would only go tick, tick, tick?

"Ve have vays of making you tock!"

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?

It was for 'tick or tweet'!

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Lunatic Jokes More Lunatic Jokes

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What do you call a tick on the moon?

A lunatic.

Midget Jokes More Midget Jokes

What do you call a budget that's cut short from the middle?

A midget.

What do you call a midget in a subway saying, "tick...tick...tick..."?

A metro-gnome

Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

What did the Mexican say with one sleeve rolled up and one sleeve not?

Not even, homes

What do potheads do when they see a fire?

Stop, drop, and roll

Grab Jokes More Grab Jokes

How does a orphan change a light bulb?

They grab the stack of un-signed adoption papers, stand on top of them, then proceed to change the light bulb.

How does clickbait work?

Just grab this electrical cable. Then what happens WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL SHOCK YOU!!!!!

Subway Jokes More Subway Jokes

Why are Subway cooks called "Sandwich Artists"?

Even art majors deserve recognition

What should you do if you get an erection on the subway?

Get off at the next stop!

Tic Tac Jokes More Tic Tac Jokes

Why did the blonde throw tic-tacs in her spaghetti?

The recipe told her to mints her garlic.

Why would a monster be big, green and scaly?

Cuz if he were small, white and smooth hed be a Tic Tac.

Meal Jokes More Meal Jokes

What did the redditor do at the restaurant when he was done with his meal?

Tips waitress*

What is white and interferes with the meal?

An avalanche.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What's better than having a garbanzo bean on your face?

Having a chickpea on your face.

What's the difference between Tigger and Pooh?

I've never smeared tigger on my face