What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?

You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

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Float Jokes More Float Jokes

Why did the int drown?

Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)

What did the ship captain say when his son learned to float?

That's my buoy!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What starts with N, has two Gs in the middle, and has no business wearing a pointy white hood?

Your noggin

Why couldn't the Italian man start his car?

Gnocchi

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A hundred but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.

What did Russians used to light their houses with before candles?

Electricity.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow thrower?

Give her a shovel.

How do you turn a fox into a whale?

Marry her.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

They have the best schools for it.

What stars go to jail?

Shooting stars.

Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

What did the tv get for Christmas?

Replaced

Why are DJ's called 'radio personalities'?

Because if they had the looks they'd be on TV.

Black Guy Jokes More Black Guy Jokes

What's faster than a black guy running with a stolen T.V.?

His brother with the DVR

What's the difference between a black guy and a canoe?

Canoes tip.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What happens to eskimos who sit on the ice too long?

Polaroids! I'm so bored...

How do you know you're at a redneck wedding?

Everybody is sitting on the same side of the church

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

How many Emos does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They prefer to cry in the dark.

How do you change the light bulb in the dark?

You don't. The police shoot you.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What do you call someone who steals a glacier?

An iceberglar

Why can't Mexicans play Uno?

They always steal the green cards.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

What do u give a woman who has everything?

Penacilin