Beaver Jokes

What did the beaver say when he fell in water?

Dam it.

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How much wood does a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck chuck could chuck wood?

None because only beavers give a dam.

How do you know If your girlfriend is Canadian?

Look at her beaver.

What did the beaver say when his house burned down?

Damn

What did the river say when it saw the beavers?

I'll be dammed.

What's the worst part about being a beaver?

It's a lot of dam work.

Why was the beaver homeless?

He just couldn't give a dam.

Why couldn't the beaver cook his twigs?

He only had Non-Stick pans.

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks?

The riverbank.

What did the beaver say to the tree?

It's been nice 'gnawing' you!

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Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

What did Alyssa the duck say to Henry the beaver?

Quack quack!

What do beavers do to a river?

God dam it

I just watched a documentary about beavers.

It was the best dam show I ever saw

What did the beaver say to the tree?

It's been nice gnawing you.

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Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster?

Cook-a-doodle-do!

Why was the cook sad when all the water in his pot boiled away?

Because he mist it.

Dam Jokes More Dam Jokes

What did the cow say when she saw the Dalmatian?

Dam... I got to get in shape!

Why was the beaver homeless?

He just couldn't give a dam.

Cod Jokes More Cod Jokes

What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?

There is no cod

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What's the worst part about working with a gamer?

They're always trying to 1-Up you.

What's the worst part of going to a southern family reunion?

Seeing your ex.

Riverbank Jokes More Riverbank Jokes

Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks?

The riverbank.

Where does a fish keep his life savings?

In a riverbank

Non Stick Pan Jokes More Non Stick Pan Jokes

Why couldn't the beaver cook his twigs?

He only had Non-Stick pans.

Why could the chef not cook a tree branch?

Because he used a non-stick pan.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if someone is a vegetarian?

He is going to tell you.

Why dont you like Taylor Swift?

Shes awesome!". Because I knew she was trouble when she walked in.

Paycheck Jokes More Paycheck Jokes

What's the difference between a paycheck and a D**k?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks?

The riverbank.